Do your laundry correctly.
Taking care of your appearance will improve your overall confidence. Guys tend to have this habit of just throwing everything in the washing machine, hitting “normal,” and then tossing the clothes in the dryer and hitting “normal cycle” again. If you invest in your laundry skills, you’ll avoid wrinkled, stained, and shrunken clothes. This way, you’ll carry yourself with the confidence you deserve. Take the time to actually do your laundry correctly, following these key tips: Actually read the labels on your clothes. They contain important laundering information. Whenever possible, skip the dryer. Air drying your clothes is better for them in the long run. Unless you have a good reason to do otherwise, always use cold water. Treat stains immediately, don’t leave wet clothes in the washer, and skip the fabric softener (it’s not good for your clothes). More is not better when it comes to detergent. Use half the recommended dose for each load—your clothes will be perfectly clean. Meet the wikiHow Experts Ashley Mak, DPT is a physical therapist and professor who focuses on maximizing physical performance. Jeffrey Fermin is an employee relations expert who specializes in understanding human behavior and mastering work-life balance. Michelle Jacoby is a matchmaker and dating coach with over 12 years of experience in helping clients find love. Wendy Lynne is a life and relationship coach who focuses on helping clients overcome fear to live happy, productive lives. Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC is a certified leadership and life coach who specializes in relationships, empowerment, and professional development. Paul Julch, MA is a personal wardrobe stylist with over 25 years of experience in the fashion industry.
Clean your living area.
A clean home will literally improve your mental health. Most dudes tend to get a little lazy when it comes to keeping their living space clean, but it’s really important to not let your living situation get out of hand. A messy home is proven to lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and trouble concentrating. If you want to be the best man possible, clean your home! Professional house cleaner Filip Boksa says, “The secret to a deep cleaning of your bedroom is attention to detail as opposed to the actual products you use. If you start in one part of your room and work your way around clockwise, going from top to bottom, you will never miss a spot.”
Smell good.
There’s nothing people like less than a stinky dude. The Venn diagram of “guys who don’t smell good” and “guys who have trouble finding dates” is just one circle. Smell is so important when it comes to how people respond to you romantically, socially, and professionally. Shower every day, wear deodorant, and choose a cologne or body spray that works for you. The benefits of smelling good are just so high. How do you choose a good cologne? Fragrance and perfume expert JK DeLapp says, “The first place that you should start is finding something that you're comfortable wearing, because if you're not happy wearing it, why should anybody else be? You should be happy wearing it. I would say wear things for yourself first, not for others.”
Learn how to tie a tie.
Don’t be that guy who wears a clip-on. Not only should you learn how to tie a tie, but you should learn how to tie different knots so that you can customize your look. Nothing screams “I’m a guy who has my stuff together” like a fella rocking a perfectly tied tie. A full Windsor knot is perfect for highly formal occasions or job interviews. The half Windsor is ideal for more laid-back events, dates, or nights out with the guys. The Pratt knot is a really fun and modern take if you want to make a big impression.
Keep your shirt collars neat.
Bent or crumpled collars are a major turn-off. Take care of your collared shirts by always respecting the collar itself. If you have a nice shirt with a bent collar, try ironing it out to see if you can fix it. In a pinch, you can also flip the collar up and insert a paperclip into the pocket under each collar point to force them to stay stiff. You can also buy collar stays to keep the collars on your shirt from warping over time.
Stay fit (and lift weights if you can).
Exercise will keep you happy, attractive, and healthy. If you want to get the best “bang for your buck” in terms of improving yourself, it’s hard to find something that will have a greater impact than exercise. Aim to get at least 150 minutes of physical activity a week. That’s just 30 minutes a day—a pretty doable goal! Getting started with weight training doesn’t have to be a big deal. Start small and lift light. Slowly work your way up to more intense weights and exercises over time. If possible, hire a trainer to help you out early. Physical therapist Ashley Mak, DPT, says, “The reality is that unless you have someone watching you and walking you through and understanding how you move, communicate and learn, you're really doing yourself a disservice, and you're going to be spending a lot of time just trying to figure things out on your own.” If you don’t have the time or resources for a trainer, don’t sweat it! Just look up a basic exercise set, start with lighter weights, and really focus on using the proper form.
Shave after you shower.
You’ll get a cleaner shave if your skin is moisturized. Women get the speech early on in life, but a lot of guys are out there dry shaving and cutting themselves because they’re unaware of the order of operations. Shave immediately after you get out of the shower when your skin is soft, damp, and moisturized. Also, moisturize with lotion after you dry off! So many guys out there develop cracked, dry skin because they refuse to lather up.
Be on time.
Life is just a lot easier if you keep your appointments. Running late is stressful for you, and rude for anyone you keep waiting. Do your best to show up on time (or early!) whenever you have an important appointment on the books. People will respect you for being punctual, and you’ll just have an easier time in life in general. Apologize if you’re late for something. Employee relations expert Jeffrey Fermin says to “always apologize for being late and offer a brief explanation for your tardiness. Taking responsibility for your lateness shows that you understand the inconvenience it may have caused, and it acknowledges that everyone's time is valuable.”
Smile way more than you already do.
Smiling makes you way more approachable and attractive. A lot of guys mistakenly get caught up in the “tough guy” persona, thinking that it makes them mysterious, gruff, and manly. The reality is that people actually prefer to be around people who make them feel good, which is where smiling more often comes in. In fact, smiling will even improve your happiness! It’s a win-win for everyone. Smiling is essential when it comes to flirting! Matchmaker and dating coach Michelle Jacoby says, “Smiling is a huge piece of feedback” when it comes to communicating that you’re interested in someone.
Get off your phone.
You’ll notice more things and open yourself to more opportunities. Nobody wants to approach the guy slumped over in the corner of the room, staring at his phone while doomscrolling through Instagram. By keeping your phone in your pocket while you’re out and about, you’ll be more likely to make a friend, flirt up a cutie, or even just see something interesting going on in the world around you. Life coach Wendy Lynne says that staring at your phone mindlessly really comes down to the habit. To stop, you have to catch yourself. She says, “The key is noticing when you're doing it—and asking what you're avoiding. The more you build a relationship with yourself, the less you'll feel the need to escape.”
Ask people questions about themselves.
What people think is charisma is often just curiosity. The trick to being super charming is to just be really focused on other people. Ask people a lot of questions about themselves. People love being asked about their interests, and you’ll build a lot of rapport really quickly if you take an interest in other people. Life coach Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC recommends tailoring the questions for each person you meet: “Work on having your questions be the kind of question that only that person could answer.” You’ll make a much stronger impression, she says.
Dress slightly better than the occasion calls for.
A minor upgrade to your outfits will make a huge impression. Even if you’re just going to play a pickup game of basketball, leave the stained T-shirt at home and wear something crisp and clean. Add a pocket square to elevate simple suits, and iron your clothes even if they are only a little wrinkled. A tiny boost to your outfit will signal that you’re a serious person who really cares about their appearance. Professional wardrobe stylist Paul Julch, MA, says, “Focus on finishing off your look[...] if you forget about accessories, you're not completely dressed.” It’s the little things that count!
Know “a guy” for that.
Build relationships with the people you use for services you need. Got a good cleaner? Know a really solid electrician? Hold on to these cards and reach out to the same people whenever you need something. Not only will you develop good relationships with people who you’ll rely on in life, but you’ll also get to use the phrase “Don’t worry about it. I know a guy for that,” super often, and that’s just one of the coolest things a human being can say.
Learn one skill really well.
Cooking, carpentry, coding, or car maintenance—just be good at one thing. Having a single skill that you’re really passionate about is a game-changer. First, it gives you something to talk about enthusiastically (and people like enthusiasm). Second, it gives you a super easy avenue to make friends. Third, it’s super attractive to potential romantic partners. Everyone likes a guy who knows how to do something they don’t. We’ve already mentioned cooking, woodworking, and cars. Other awesome options include: baking, chess, martial arts, boating, photography, art, and playing an instrument.
Take a cold shower.
Cold showers are almost comically good for you. They improve your circulation, soften and moisturize your skin, improve your mental processing speed, and even improve your immune system so that you get sick less often. On top of that, there’s just something so alluring and cool about a dude who wakes up in the morning and takes a cold plunge.
Show vulnerability.
Expressing how you feel is key to cultivating healthy relationships. A lot of men don’t share how they feel, and that’s a major shame—positive masculinity is all about being your most authentic self. It’s especially important when it comes to romantic relationships. Fight that little voice in your head telling you to hide how you feel. There’s nothing sexier than a guy who knows himself and communicates it well. Life coach Rachel Clissold makes the point that “when you actually are who you are, you “give other people permission to show up as they are.” If you want to attract honest, real people in your life, this is the way to be.
Know your city.
Be a master of your environment, wherever you live. These days, a lot of guys just sort of mindlessly go about their days, frequenting a few of the same locations (school, work, home, etc.). There are relatively few “explorers” out there who know where to get the best sushi, how to get downtown without a car, etc. Consider trying one of the following: Don’t rely on Google maps to get around—actually learn the layout of the streets in your neighborhood and city. Take the bus or train! Public transit will help you get to know your city much better than driving around will. Try out new restaurants, clubs, and venues. Don’t go to the same place over and over again. Talk to “locals” whenever you get a chance. If you check out a new corner bar in a new neighborhood, talk to the old timer at the end of the bar. He’s probably looking for company, anyway.
Respect great men, but don’t idolize them.
It’s good to have heroes, but worship no man. If you have positive male role models in your life, that’s awesome. It’s also great to look up to someone influential or famous if they help provide a good model for how to be a man. Just don’t fall into the trap of worshipping someone. No man knows everything about life, so keep things in perspective. Clinical psychologist Kateri Berasi, PsyD provides good insight on this point: “We often obsess about celebrities because they seem perfect, when really they’re just other people like us, trying to live their lives and do their best to be happy.”
Invest your leftover money.
Try to avoid spending everything you get your hands on. One of the biggest life hacks that will pay off in the long run is to save for your future. Whenever you have leftover money in your bank account, transfer it to a brokerage account and invest it. You’ll thank yourself in the future when you have no problem putting a down payment on a home or buying a fancy car in cash! What should I invest in? Professional financial planner Dmitriy Fomichenko recommends index funds (like the S&P 500). These are simple investment vehicles that give you broad diversification with a reasonable risk curve.
See doctors.
Men hate going in for checkups, but it’s really important. Women live, on average, 7 years longer than men do. Don’t be another statistic! See your doctor regularly and don’t hesitate to get help when something seems wrong. Living as long as possible is sort of the best life hack you could give yourself, so don’t skip your checkups!
Find the right hairstyle for you.
Your face shape and build should determine your haircut. A lot of guys choose their hairstyle just based on whether or not they like the hairstyle itself, but you aren’t doing yourself any favors if you aren’t taking your head and body shape into account. Check out our quiz on how to find the right hairstyle for you to get some expert guidance. The same goes for your facial hair! Don’t grow out a full beard if it doesn’t suit your face.
Get a pedicure when you need one.
Nothing ruins a cuddling session like dirty, cracked feet. Don’t be one of those guys with gross feet. Moisturize every day, trim your toenails, and get a pedicure every now and then to ensure your feet don’t feel like a cat’s tongue on your partner’s skin the next time you two snuggle.
Carry a little cash.
Everyone just has plastic these days, but cash is king. There’s nothing cooler than asking for an upgrade when you go out to eat on a first date, and then you peel off a fresh five to tip the waiter like you’re in Goodfellas as they move your table. Plus, cash is super helpful in emergencies.
Carry gum and a lighter.
These two little inventory items will help on any quest. A lighter and gum will come in handy super often, and these two things take up basically zero pocket space. People ask for gum or a lighter super often, and having these things on hand will make it a lot easier to meet people and strike up conversations. Don’t carry a lighter if you’re younger than smoking age. It’s just going to get you in trouble.
Control your emotions.
No bigger hack will help in life than monitoring your emotions. There’s a lot of social pressure on men to suppress their emotions, and that causes a lot of guys to act out in unproductive ways. Work on controlling your feelings by monitoring strong emotions as they develop, and challenging negative emotions before you act. The more in control you are, the happier and more productive you’ll be. Clinical psychologist Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS says, “Self-regulation is the process of owning one’s feelings, thoughts, behaviors, attitudes, and perceptions. It is through self-regulation that we have a comprehensive understanding and approach to the inner-self.”
Avoid physical fights.
As “manly” as they may seem, they’re the mark of an insecure guy. Nothing will ruin a life goal faster than a criminal charge or a serious injury from a dumb fight over nothing. Sometimes, being the bigger man means walking away. The guys always looking to start something are begging you to react, so don’t give that to them. Brown also explains that “negativity is a vice chosen by an individual who is in emotional distress.” In other words, someone who actively looks for a fight is just an insecure and scared boy. Remember that it’s just not worth the pain and suffering—even if you win, you lose.
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