How to Be Alone (Without Being Lonely)

Remind yourself of the upsides of being alone.

Shifting your perspective on alone time can help you enjoy it more. Being alone isn’t the same thing as being lonely, and it's completely possible to feel happy and fulfilled during times of solitude. In fact, there are tons of perks that come with being alone, and reminding yourself of these things can help you start to value and cherish your time on your own. Here are some examples: You don’t have to compromise with anyone. You get to decide what movie to watch, what to order for dinner, what activity to do on a Sunday morning—it’s all up to you! You can get to know yourself better and gain a better understanding of what you want out of life. You may also experience health benefits, like better sleep quality, lower stress levels, and better physical fitness. You have more time to devote to your hobbies, interests, and personal goals.

Take a social media break.

Social media causes you to compare your social life to other people’s. When you’re constantly bombarded with posts of happy couples or big groups of friends hanging out, it’s easy to start viewing your alone time in a more negative light. If you’ve noticed that you get stressed out or down on yourself when viewing this type of content, it may be time to take a social media break. This allows you to focus on how you’re actually feeling, rather than comparing yourself to others. Remember, social media presents a curated glimpse into people’s lives. The reality of a person’s situation may be an entirely different story. This is why it’s so important to avoid making comparisons based on social media. You may be holding yourself to an idealized standard, rather than the truth.

Use this time to get to know yourself better.

Alone time gives you the space to explore who you truly are as a person. What is it you want out of life? How do you enjoy spending your time? What are your goals, passions, and desires? Learning these things about yourself can be incredibly empowering, and this knowledge can help you build the life you truly want! Keep a journal to record your thoughts, experiences, interests, desires, and dreams. This is a great way to get to know yourself better while also sparking your creativity! Journaling can also help reduce stress levels, calm anxiety, and manage symptoms of depression, which makes it a super beneficial practice if you’re struggling with your alone time.

Explore your hobbies and interests.

Hobbies can make your alone time more entertaining and enjoyable. Maybe you used to paint or play the guitar, but it’s been a while since you had the time. Or, maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, but you haven’t had the opportunity yet. Now’s your chance! Here are some ideas if you’re looking for inspiration: Learn an instrument. Set a reading goal. Start drawing or painting. Enroll in a cooking class. Learn to knit or crochet. Get into gardening. Study a new language. Try out yoga. Learn a programming language and start to code.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Do something daring to shake up your routine. If you’ve been stuck in a rut with the same old routine lately, you may start to view your alone time as a chore. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new to keep things interesting! This will help you combat boredom, and it can also boost your resilience and self-confidence. Here are some ideas to get you started: Take a solo trip to a destination you’ve always wanted to visit. Make a bucket list of new things to try over the course of a year. Start training for a 5K, 10K, half marathon, marathon, or triathlon. Try out a super daring activity like skydiving or bungee jumping.

Take yourself out on a date.

Do all the things you would normally do with a friend or partner. You don’t have to stay at home just because you’ve got some alone time on your hands! Treat yourself to a delicious dinner at that restaurant you’ve been dying to try. Or, take yourself out to the movies to see the new film everyone’s been talking about. Going on a solo date is a great way to remind yourself that alone time doesn’t have to be boring—it can also be super fun. If you’re looking for some more solo-date inspo, check out this awesome list of ideas.

Prioritize self-care.

Self-care is a great way to show yourself some love and kindness. You could do something relaxing, like taking a bubble bath, listening to your favorite music, or lighting a candle and reading a good book. Or, you could do something that involves nourishing or moving your body, like learning how to cook delicious, healthy meals, or adding yoga to your morning routine. These things can help you build a more positive relationship with yourself, which will make your alone time all the more enjoyable.

Practice self-compassion.

Self-compassion means being kind to yourself when you’re struggling. If you’ve been feeling insecure or down on yourself about being alone, try to turn your self-criticisms into words of support. Imagine the kind, comforting things you would say to someone else in your situation, then direct these statements inwards. Remember, you deserve the same empathy and compassion that you would show to another person! Here are a few more things you can do to show yourself a little love: Celebrate what’s special about you, such as your unique personality, interests, attributes, and accomplishments. Focus on what you love about your body, as well as what your body lets you do. Maybe you love your curls or your freckles, or the fact that your body lets you dance or play your favorite sport. Recite positive affirmations to build your confidence. For example, you could say something like, “I am worthy of love,” or “I have so much to offer the world.”

Practice gratitude.

Try to remind yourself of the good things you have in your life. This can help you combat any unhappy feelings you might have about being single or spending time alone. Practicing gratitude also has a ton of mental and physical health benefits, such as reducing depression, calming anxiety, relieving stress, improving sleep quality, and even supporting your heart health! Try writing a list of all the things you’re grateful for. Here are a few examples to get you started: Your family and friends Your health and/or the health of loved ones Your pets Your living space Your positive experiences or memories Your unique talents, attributes, or abilities Your education, career, or professional accomplishments Your favorite pieces of art, movies, songs, or books Your favorite places in nature

Nurture the relationships you do have.

There are likely more people in your corner than you think! For example, if you’ve been feeling alone lately due to a romantic or friendship break-up, try reaching out to a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, or anyone else you trust and care about. You could even try reconnecting with an old friend you've lost touch with. You could spend quality time with one of these people in person, or set up a time for a phone or FaceTime call if that feels less stressful for you.

Volunteer your time for a cause you care about.

Helping others can give you perspective on your own situation. This allows you to get out of your own head and worry less about the downsides of being alone. Plus, you’ll be able to engage with other volunteers or the people you’re helping, which can combat any feelings of loneliness or isolation you may be experiencing. Consider volunteering for something that fits your interests. For example, if you enjoy painting, try volunteering at an art museum. Or, if you’re a dog lover, volunteer at your local animal shelter. You can also volunteer for causes in your community that you’re passionate about, like a beach clean-up, or a food drive for people experiencing food insecurity. The options are endless!

Spend time in nature.

Getting outdoors and enjoying the fresh air can improve your wellbeing. In fact, studies show that spending time in nature lowers your risk of depression, improves your ability to recover from psychological stress, and strengthens your focus and attention levels. So, if you’ve been feeling a bit down about being alone, head outside. You can read a book in the backyard, sunbathe near a lake or the ocean, take yourself on a nice picnic in the park—whatever your heart desires! You can also kill two birds with one stone and do a physical activity outside. This allows you to get your exercise in while also enjoying the great outdoors. For example, you could go on a hike, swim in a lake or the ocean, surf, mountain bike, take a sunrise yoga class, or go for a jog in the park.

Stay physically active.

Exercising boosts your mood and makes alone time more enjoyable. Physical activity releases endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that make you feel more content and energized. So get out there try a new work out class, go on a scenic hike, or turn on your favorite music and have a solo dance party. You’ll get some of those feel-good chemicals flowing, while also occupying some of your alone time with a fun activity!

Connect with people in online communities.

This is a great way to increase social interaction if you’re feeling lonely. Try joining a website or forum related to an interest of yours, so you can connect with other like-minded people. For example, if you love to read, consider joining an online book club. You could also join online groups dedicated to a hobby you enjoy, like crocheting, hiking, making music, gaming, or playing a sport.

Consider getting a pet.

Pets make excellent companions, especially if you live alone. If you’ve been feeling lonely lately, consider sharing your life with a furry, feathery, or scaly companion. You can still enjoy your independence, but you’ll also have a friend around to show some love to. Pets can require a lot of time, energy, and support. If you’re considering getting one, just make sure you’re fully ready and able to care for them!

Talk to a therapist or counselor.

It can be super tough to combat feelings of loneliness on your own. If you’ve been struggling, a licensed therapist or counselor can help you work through your emotions and come up with a plan to feel better. Ask a trusted friend or family member for a referral if they work with a therapist, or check out online directories to choose the right therapist for you.