Creating a Period Gift Box
Make a gift box for the celebration. Use an old basket or go to an arts and crafts store to find a small wooden box. Make sure whatever you choose is big enough to hold some goodies. Add embellishments to the box that reflect your daughter’s personality and favorite colors. You can go for a quirky tone or something more elegant, depending on your daughter’s personality. Your daughter might be the type to make a joke about her first period, or you could have a girl who’s going to want a memorable keepsake to get teary over.
Put together a kit for her to take to school. In addition to a gift box, your daughter is going to want something to keep her essentials in when she’s at school. The kit should be something small that she can fit in her backpack, such as a pencil case. It should also be large enough to fit several pads and other essentials. Don’t put the word “period” on it or deliberately something red. While you might find this cute or funny, your daughter probably won’t.
Fill the box and kit with the necessary supplies. The purpose of the box and kit is to make your daughter feel ready to handle any situation related to her period. Include all the obvious essentials. If there’s room, add other items that you feel are appropriate for your daughter’s unique needs. All kits and boxes should have pads, wet wipes or tissues, hand sanitizer, and a pair of replacement underwear. Most girls won’t start out using tampons or a menstrual cup. If your daughter is a swimmer, she’s likely an exception. You might also want to add a little booklet of tips to the gift box. For example, you could write a note telling your daughter to keep an extra sweatshirt in her locker just in case she leaks.
Add some fun items to make her smile. Enough with the serious stuff. This is supposed to be a celebration! Put some chocolate or your daughter’s favorite sweet snack in the gift box. Write a card telling her you love her, and that you’re always there for her. Go for a sappy card if you’re creating an elegant keepsake. If you’re striving for a quirkier tone, keep the card light and cute. Dark chocolate is especially good for boosting one's mood and relieving cramps on one's period.
Personalize the box or kit so it’s just from you. You can buy pre-made period kits online for your daughter. While these are great for getting ideas, it’ll mean more to your daughter if she knows you made her a box and kit all on your own.
Add items to the kit she feels she needs. Once you’ve given your daughter her gifts, ask her what she thinks. There may be specific items she wants in the kit to prepare herself at school. Take her to your local pharmacy to finish making the kit together.
Throwing a Period Party
Ask your daughter what she wants to do to celebrate. Get permission from your daughter before you start planning any events, and offer her some options so she can choose what would be best for her. Keep in mind that the whole point is to make your daughter feel positively about her period. Make any party plans together. Don’t get upset if your daughter’s ideas for the party are super different from your own. It’s her party, and she should be the one in charge.
Throw a party if your daughter is social and outgoing. Invite some of her friends over for a slumber party and keep things low-key but fun. Let the girls celebrate in their own way. Having these positive and supportive parties could become a new tradition among your daughter and her close friends!
Plan a one-on-one night if your daughter is private. Some girls may cringe at the thought of celebrating their periods with their friends (or, even worse, your friends). If that’s the case, celebrate with just the two of you. This may mean more to some girls.
Plan a period-friendly menu to make her feel better. There are lots of foods that can help your daughter through any tough symptoms that came along with her first period. Nuts, leafy greens, and foods that are high in iron or potassium are all great for keeping her healthy and happy during her cycle. Set out a few bowls of sunflower seeds and walnuts. Drizzle them with a little honey to add some sweetness. Serve a big spinach salad and make a banana bread for dessert. You can also ask your daughter if there are any foods that would satisfy her cravings. Chocolate brownies could be a big hit.
Get corny with the menu if your daughter wants a laugh. If a period-themed menu appeals to your daughter’s sense of humor, get a little silly with the food and drinks. Plan a menu that celebrates your daughter’s period by choosing red foods and drinks, or dishes that symbolize fertility. A sample menu could include mini-quiches (which have lots of eggs in them), spaghetti and red sauce, and red velvet cupcakes. You can also serve cranberry juice or even sparkling pink lemonade. If it’s winter, go for the egg nog!
Set up a massage train to ease cramps. If you’ve planned a slumber party for several girls, they’re not going to want to rub each other’s bellies. But giving each other a nice shoulder and neck rub relaxes tense muscles, and this, too, can help with menstrual cramps. If it’s just you and your daughter, you can talk about other ways to ease cramps. This could include showing her how to lightly rub her lower belly, or giving her a heating pad.
Making Your Daughter Comfortable
Spread out talks about puberty over multiple years. Begin talking about your daughter’s body as soon as she has questions. This will likely be as soon as she can talk. Have age-appropriate talks spaced out over your daughter’s life, instead of one big “Period Talk.” You can talk to very young children about their body parts, and what various things are for. Provide more details as she gets older, always checking to make sure your daughter understands the information you’re giving her.
Be prepared with the right supplies. Most girls start menstruating when they’re about 12 or 13, although some girls could start when they’re 9 or 10. Once your daughter hits these years, stock up on items for her kit. You don’t want to make a panicked, late-night pharmacy run with your daughter crying in the backseat.
Talk about periods as positive experiences. Avoid calling your period “the Curse,” or anything similarly terrifying. Your daughter should understand that this is something women and some trans people experience naturally as they grow up. It’s an exciting sign that she’s growing up. Tell your daughter this definitely isn’t something she should be embarrassed about. Explain that most women and girls get their periods. In fact, because periods are part of reproducing, the survival of the human race depends on them! While you want to keep the time positive, it's also important to be honest. Periods can also come with other symptoms, such as cramps or mood swings. Don't hide from this reality. Instead tell your daughter how she can deal with these symptoms.
Answer your daughter’s questions directly and honestly. Your daughter will probably have lots of questions for you. Some you’ll know the answers for, and some you won’t. Keep up a comfortable and open tone during this chat, and make sure your daughter knows that no question is a bad one. Common questions might include, “Why am I the first one of my friends to get my period,” “Can I still go swimming,” “How long does it last,” “Why does it happen,” or “Am I normal?” Tell your daughter when she’s asked a question you don’t have an answer for. Use this as a chance to look for good, reliable answers together. You can go online, search in a book, or consult your daughter’s doctor.
Read a book or watch a video together. Don’t just hand your daughter a book or a link to a video and think you’re done. She might not read or watch whatever you give her, and then you’re leaving her totally unprepared. Explore this stuff together and make it part of an experience that you share with one another. Some good options for books include Lynda Madaras’s What’s Happening to My Body? and My Body, My Self for Girls by the same author. American Girl also has a line of books called The Care and Keeping of You with good information.
Reassure your daughter with personal stories. Your daughter might want to hear all about your embarrassing period stories, as this could make her laugh and feel more comfortable. She may also think this is weird, so let her tell you what she needs from you. Not all parents have had periods, and that’s okay! If your daughter wants to talk to someone who’s had a period, and that person isn’t you, put her in touch with a friend, family member, or doctor. By doing this, you’re still giving your daughter the support she needs, and she’ll know it came from you.
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