- Be honest about what you want to do. If your mom knows of your plans, she’ll be more likely to work with you to find a solution you can both agree on.
- Explain the reasons why you want to do something or go somewhere. Showing your excitement and explaining what you'll gain from the experience might just win her over.
- Assure her you’ll be home on time and have a plan prepared if anything goes wrong.
Showing Her that You Are Trustworthy
Be honest about your plan. A mom's worst fear is that you'll get hurt - that's the main reason moms tend to say "no" when you want to do something. But if you want to turn your mom's fear on its head, all you have to do is tell her all about your big plan and convince her she has nothing to worry about. Give her details about how safe it is and show her how you've already worked out all the details. Once she sees it isn't really risky, she'll probably say yes! Always know what you are talking about. If, for example, it's a movie, then you should know the rating of the movie (G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17). If you're underage and you're seeing a more mature movie, don't mention the movie unless your mom asks. Just mention the type of movie, like comedy or thriller.
Be enthusiastic about what you want. Tell her how what you want to do is going to really improve your life. If you want to go to a concert, say you'll gain valuable life experience. If you want to be allowed to stay up late, tell her how you'll use that time to do something productive. If you want more time with your friends, tell her that your social life needs a boost. If you want a new pair of shoes, show her how shabby your old ones have gotten.
Don't lie about what you're doing. It might work the first time around, but when your mom finds out you lied she's going to say "no" next time. You don't always have to tell the whole truth - you can leave out details that no moms need to know - but blatantly lying? Next time you want something, might as well not even bother asking!
Assure her you'll be home on time. How you will reach home is going to be key. Tell her your plan for getting home and give her an exact time you'll be there. Remind her of other times you came home right on time without any problems.
Have a plan in place for anything that could go wrong. Moms love seeing their kids plan ahead. Think through what could happen and tell her you've already got it covered. For example, if your friend leaves without you, have a different plan for getting home.
Bring up times when you earned her trust. If you've already done things to earn your mom's trust, remind her. Talk about how well you've been doing in school, how much you've been helping around the house, how you always reach home on time and don't complain too much about the chores you have to do. If you've broken her trust, work to earn it back by doing what your mom tells you for at least a week before you ask her for something.
Remind her that you only live once. Say "Mom, remember that concert you went to that has changed your life? You were my age that year."Talk up the fact that youth is fleeting and you'll only get so many chances to have fun before you grow up and leave the house. She'll start feeling emotional and nostalgic, which will likely lead to a "yes" before you know it.
Showing Her that You Deserve It
Do well in school. If you always do your homework and get decent grades, what's your mom's excuse for saying no? Exactly, she doesn't have one. Do your best in school and in your extracurricular activities so that your mom sees how much you deserve the treat you want. Working hard in school demonstrates that you’re responsible and mature. The more you can do to meet your academic obligations, the more likely your mom will be to give you what you want.
Do your chores. Take a bit off the load off your mom by helping her clean the house, do the dishes, mow the lawn, walk the dog, and all the other little things she does to keep the house running. If you're asking for something big, doing some extra chores doesn't hurt. Go above and beyond a few weeks before you pop the question.
Get home on time. Being reliable is the key. If you deceive your mom and you're always late, she's not likely to give in when you want something. Do your best to get home when you say you will and be reliable in other ways. If you say you'll have your room clean by Saturday, have it done. If you say you'll feed the cat, do it without needing to be asked a second time. Your mom will notice how reliable you've been.
Cook a meal or bake a cake. Your mom will absolutely love it if you surprise her by taking over the kitchen and cooking something for her and the family. Get up early and cook some scrambled eggs and pancakes for breakfast, or use your free afternoon to bake up a cake or some cookies for everyone. It sounds weird but it really works.Just make sure you clean up afterward.
Be extremely nice. Ask her about her day. She probably asks you about yours, so why not reverse it and see what happens? Your mom will be touched, and more likely to say yes. Take it to the next level by telling her about how things are going in your life and letting her in on what you've been thinking about. You will be shocked at how much more likely she'll be to let you start making more decisions on your own. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, frustrated, or angry, give yourself a few minutes to decompress. This should keep you from saying something you don’t mean.
Showing Her That You Are Mature
Earn money to pay for what you want. If you want to go to a movie or you'd like a new game or toy, offer to do some chores around the house in exchange for the money you need to pay for it. Your mom might be so impressed at the offer that she'll go ahead and say yes.
Compromise if you need to. Say you really wanted to go to a party, but your mom is stubbornly saying no because she doesn't want you to be out that late. Why not offer to come home an hour earlier? If it goes well, maybe the next time she'll let you stay out as late as you want.
Don't say "everyone else is doing it". Kids say this all the time, but does it ever really work? Moms don't care much about going along with the crowd. Only say this if you're asking for something that literally everyone else is getting to do, and have a list of people your mom respects who get to do it. Be ready to have your friends back you up if your mom says she wants to call them or their parents. Also remember that she might respond with phrases like "If your friends jumped off a roof, would you?" or "I'm not interested in what your friends do, I'm interested in what you do, because they're not my kids, and that's their problem and their parents' problem."
Don't beg. It'll just make you seem immature, making your mom feel like she's making the right decision in saying "no". You've got to give her a good reason to say yes, and begging is just annoying. If you cannot get her to say "yes" in any way, a guilt trip might come to your rescue in the end. Use statements like "No, it's okay. Love you mom." and walk downstairs. Later she will come to tell you that you can go, because you just let it go like a mature person.
Make her laugh. Lighten things up by telling a joke or teasing your mom to make her laugh. Even if you're upset she's saying no, saying something funny can turn things right around. It shows your mom that you realize it's not the end of the world, and you're not going to throw a tantrum like a little kid. Who knows, her enhanced mood might make her change her mind.
Don't forget to say "I love you". It works like a charm to make moms feel happy. Don't let it sound fake - say it like you mean it, even if you're feeling mad. The power of these three words cannot be underestimated!
If that doesn't work, ask your dad. If you manage to convince him, he may be able to talk your mom into it. But remember, this may not always work since in some families, it is always the mother's decision.
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