Going into Your Room
Ask if she would like to go to your room. This can be done in a number of ways, but the best and probably most effective would be ask her if she would like to see your room. Something along the lines of, "Hey want to go upstairs? My room is warmer/nicer/more comfortable than here." If she seems against it, don't push it or you'll make her uncomfortable and you should avoid making someone uncomfortable. You could also try using some different lines. Try saying, “All my CDs are upstairs, want to give them a listen?” You could also say, “There are some hilarious pictures in my yearbook upstairs. Want to take a look?” Suggest you go to your room by saying, “My sister always bothers me down here. Want to go upstairs where it's a little quieter?” Always follow your parents’ rules about having people in your room and closing doors.
Close the door. She may not be happy with being shut in a room with her boyfriend she hasn't even kissed yet. Close the door, but not all the way. Leave it cracked open slightly. It probably wouldn’t be ideal if either of your parents come in while you guys are kissing, so keep an eye (or an ear) out for them. If you are not allowed to close your door with a girl in the room, respect your parents’ rules and leave the door open.
Remain standing until she sits down. If you sit down and pull her down next to you, she might feel threatened or feel that things are moving too fast. Give her some time to look around your room, familiarize herself with it, and become more comfortable. She will sit down when she is ready and feels like doing so. When she does, sit down next to her.
Hanging Out in Your Room
Show her something. When you are both on the bed, show her something, like a yearbook, your favorite books or music, or a funny video on your computer. If you're both looking at something or talking while you sit down, you'll make the atmosphere a lot less awkward and soon both of you will be more comfortable. Say something like, “Did you see that YouTube video about the fox?” and then pull up the video on your computer. You could also show her a book you like and say, “Have you ever read this book? It’s one of my favorites.”
Make eye contact. Making eye contact will help you both feel chemistry and will also help you to understand what she might be thinking or feeling. Look for positive signals from her. Positive signals include, smiling, laughing at your jokes, or looking at your lips. If she's playing with her hair or putting her hair behind her ear, she may be trying to get you to look at her face. Fidgeting with her clothes might mean she's nervous.
Touch her arm and begin to move in. If she says stop, then stop. If she stops you, it could be for a couple of reasons. Either she's not comfortable due to being in an unfamiliar place, or she’s never kissed someone before and is not ready. Some people can get nervous; others want to save their first kiss for a really special time or place. Don't take this personally. Try again some other time. It is possible that she may not like you (in that way). This can be difficult to accept but don’t take it personally. Sometimes girls just need a little more time. Who knows? She might actually want to kiss you later on.
Going in for the Kiss
Lean forward slowly and kiss her. Make sure you are gentle and move slowly, closing your eyes as you go in for the kiss. Move in at a slight angle. If you move in with your face upright, you'll bump noses with her and your lips won't meet. This can be awkward! Don't stick out your lips, but gently press them against hers. Don't try tongue on the first kiss. Tongue is not good on the first kiss, unless she slips you a little tongue. If she does, 'go easy. Don't force it down her throat. Keep your eyes closed while kissing. Otherwise, it's kind of creepy if you're just staring at her while you kiss. Keep it short. The first time you kiss, keep it under ten seconds. If you both end up liking the kiss, you can always continue kissing for longer. EXPERT TIP Chloe Carmichael, PhD Chloe Carmichael, PhD Licensed Clinical Psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over a decade of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.” Chloe Carmichael, PhD Chloe Carmichael, PhD Licensed Clinical Psychologist The first kiss is important, but don't pin too much meaning to it. Some people are just really shy at first and may feel overwhelmed during the first kiss. However, once they’ve gotten comfortable with you physically, all the excitement can emerge.
Try French kissing. If you feel it's the right time, you can move on to the French kiss. Do this only if the girl is ready. If this is your first kiss altogether, not just the first in your room, you may want to hold off on trying that. If you decide to French kiss, move in at an angle, close your eyes, and begin with a couple close-mouth kisses. Kiss her lower or upper lip a couple times. When you open your mouth to kiss her, slip a little tongue into her mouth and bring it back out. The goal is to touch her tongue, and touch it gently. Don't ram it in there. Take turns meeting her tongue with open-mouth kisses. While French kissing, it's okay to keep your mouth slightly open. Remember to breathe while kissing. It's easy to forget to breathe while kissing. Breathe through your nose quietly and slowly.
Give her one last peck. When the kiss is over, it could be cute to give her a small kiss on the cheek or a hug to end the kiss sweetly. This, however, would not be so cute if the kiss ended in her pushing you away. Keep this in mind when making a move and be respectful of the girl.
Respect her boundaries. If she doesn't want to kiss, gently put both your hands on her waist or softly place your hand on one side of her face. If she responds well to this keep going. If she starts to lean away, open her eyes or closes her mouth, then stop what you are doing and move on to a different activity.
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