Learning the Technique
Tilt your head slightly to 1 side. This prevents your nose from bumping into that of your partner’s while French kissing. Even if you aren’t practicing with a person, you should still get into the habit of tilting your head slightly. If you decide to learn to French kiss with another person, you should be direct and let them know that you want to kiss them for practice, not necessarily because you have feelings for them. You can practice french kissing with your hand, a piece of fruit, or even your imagination. If you’re using your hand, curl it loosely to form the letter “O” which represents your partner’s lips and mouth. If you’re using fruit, bite into a ripe, firm fruit such as a peach or plum to create a small hole that resembles a person’s mouth.
Close your eyes and slowly move your lips toward your partner. Closing your eyes allows you to focus on the physical sensation of the French kiss. Lean in toward your partner, bringing your lips close to theirs. Alternatively, bring your lips close to the piece of fruit or your hand. You should only be an inch (2.5 cm) or so away.
Press your mouth softly against your partner’s. You want to start with a soft kiss and test the waters before moving on to a French kiss. Use light pressure and keep your mouth slightly parted. Avoid opening your mouth too wide, which can alarm your partner and result in a wet, sloppy kiss. Your lips should fit into theirs—your top lip can either be above their top lip or in between their lips. Your bottom lip, then, would rest in between their lips or below their bottom lip. If you’re practicing alone, fit your lips gently to your hand or to the piece of fruit.
Touch your partner’s lips gently with your tongue. This slow movement allows you to gauge whether your partner is ready to French kiss, and prevents them from being alarmed or surprised at any sudden tongue thrust movements. After kissing them softly on the mouth, slowly stick your tongue out until it meets their lips—it can be the top lip, bottom lip, or both. If you are kissing someone for real and they open their mouth too, move ahead with the French kiss. When practicing by yourself, use light pressure to touch your hand or the piece of fruit with your tongue.
Slide your tongue into their mouth a little bit. The next step is to move your tongue into their mouth slowly and gently. You can put your tongue above or under their tongue, or even move it around a little. Keep it slow and playful. Also, don’t go too deep, you only need to put a little bit of your tongue in their mouth. To keep your teeth from clacking together, keep your head tilted slightly to 1 side and use your lips to shield your teeth. If you’re practicing with a piece of fruit of your hand, gently stroke the object with your tongue.
Touch your tongue against theirs using slow, gradual movements. These movements may including touching, stroking, curling, and sweeping. When kissing a responsive partner in real life, your kisses will naturally build in intensity, pressure, and length. The key to practicing French kissing is to start slowly, and fall into a natural kissing rhythm with your partner based on their physical responses to your kiss. Less is more when it comes to tongue, so don’t be too aggressive! However, don’t keep your tongue completely still either, which could be awkward. When practicing alone, experiment with different ways to move your tongue against your hand or the piece of fruit until you find a pattern or method that feels natural.
Preparing for Real Kissing
Watch romantic movies and television shows that feature French kissing. This allows you to become more familiar with the French kiss, including how to set the mood, and how to move your head, mouth, and body while kissing.
Freshen your breath before kissing. Bad breath or poor oral health can ruin the mood and make kissing you unappealing. If you can’t brush your teeth before kissing, pop a breath mint or chew some gum. Just remember to spit out the gum before the makeout session! If you won’t be able to brush your teeth between eating and kissing, avoid pungent foods like garlic and onion to limit the chances of having bad breath.
Keep your lips moist and soft. Dry, flaky lips can be a turn-off and feel rough against your partner’s mouth. Drink plenty of water, and apply lip balm as needed to keep your lips soft and supple. Just make sure the scent is pleasing and the balm isn’t too slimy or sticky. For especially dry lips, exfoliate them with a sugar scrub or even a clean toothbrush.
Dim the lights and set a romantic mood. The more relaxed and romantic you feel, the better! Pick a quiet, private spot to spend time with your partner. Light candles with a pleasant aroma or play soft music to set the mood.
Make sure your partner feels comfortable. Whenever you plan to get physical or intimate with another person, you need their express consent. Ask your partner if they are okay with kissing you. If you feel too shy to discuss boundaries with your partner, you probably aren’t ready to engage in physical contact with them, either. Remember that if at any point your partner seems uncomfortable, pushes you away, or asks you to stop, you should back off right away.
Break the touch barrier. Before jumping into a makeout session, start with some light touching first. Hold your partner’s hand, give them a hug, or snuggle up under a blanket together. This will make it more natural for things to progress to French kissing.
Use your hands while kissing. Don’t just stand there with your hands dangling at your sides when French kissing someone. You can put your hands around their neck or around their waist. Alternatively, lightly grip their face or run your fingers through their hair. Do what feels natural and comfortable to you.
Remember to breathe. When you’re French kissing someone, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Breathe through your nose as you’re kissing or break the contact every now and again to take a deeper breath. Try not to pant on your partner—slow down if you’re feeling short of breath or dizzy.
Change it up every so often. You don’t always have to kiss the same way. In fact, you should add some variation to your kisses. Try gently sucking on your partner’s bottom lip for a few seconds or massaging their tongue with your own. You could also sprinkle a few light kisses on their lips or neck in between French kisses. You may also want to whisper a few sweet words to your partner in between kisses to heighten the mood. You could say something like, “I love kissing you,” or, “You make my heart race.”
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