“Work Wife” Meaning
A“work wife” is a coworker you have a close platonic bond with. The term can refer to someone of the opposite gender or the same gender, and it does not have any romantic or sexual connotations. If you have a “work wife,” you likey trust each other deeply, support and confide in one another, and collaborate on work projects together. In other words, you have a true, genuine friendship. Common variations of the term include “work husband,” “work spouse,” and “office spouse.” Many people believe the term originated with a 1933 New York Times article, which stated that the British Prime Minister had used the term “office wife” to describe the perfect relationship between a prime minister and his secretary.
Is it okay to call someone your “work wife”?
It’s usually okay to refer to someone as your “work wife,” but ask first. These terms are commonly used in workplaces, and most people see them as a harmless way to describe a close platonic friendship with a coworker. Some people, however, may be a bit uncomfortable with these terms and see them as having romantic connotations, even if this wasn’t your intention. Because of this, it’s important to ask your coworker if they’re comfortable with being called your “work wife” or “work spouse.” If your coworker tells you that they would like you to refrain from using these terms, respect their wishes. If you’d like, you can ask if it’s okay to refer to them as your “work bestie” or “work best friend” instead.
Psychological Benefits of Having a Work Spouse
Having a work spouse can make work more enjoyable and productive. When you’re spending time with coworkers for 8 hours a day, 5 days per week, it makes a huge difference if you actually enjoy their company. In fact, research shows that having friends in the workplace boosts job satisfaction, improves performance, promotes mental wellness, and reduces the risk of burnout. Because a “work spouse” or “work wife” is essentially a best friend at the office, the relationship can have these positive effects.
Signs You Have a Work Spouse
You confide in each other about workplace issues. Work spouses tend to go to each other first when they want to talk something out. If you find yourself reaching out to one specific colleague every time you have a work-related question or want to share some office gossip, there’s a good chance this person is your work spouse!
You collaborate on projects together. When your boss tells you to pick a partner for a collaborative project, do you make a beeline for a certain coworker? If so, they may be your work spouse! Work spouses always choose each other first when they have a chance to collaborate, just like best friends alway choose each other as partners for group projects at school.
You hang out together at work and work-related events. Given the chance, work spouses will be attached at the hip. Do you grab lunch together every day? Make excuses to visit each other’s desks and chat? Lurk near the buffet table together at the office holiday party? If so, you definitely have a work spouse!
You feel like you can be yourself around them. A work spouse is someone you have a real, genuine friendship with. This means you can be vulnerable around them, confide in them, and let your real personality shine. If you feel this comfortable and at-ease around one of your coworkers, they might just be your work spouse.
You have a lot of similarities with them. Do you have the same taste in music? Enjoy the same TV shows or movies? Share a sense of style? Research shows that we tend to like people more when they’re similar to us. So, if you and this coworker have a ton in common, there’s a good chance your work relationship can blossom into a true friendship, and by extension, a work-spouse relationship.
Tips for a Healthy Work Spouse Relationship
Respect each other’s boundaries. Even though you’ve formed a true friendship with your work spouse, it’s important to remember that you are coworkers, too. To avoid uncomfortable situations, make sure to establish healthy boundaries, keep things professional, and abide by any rules that your HR department has in place. Avoid prying about personal topics if your coworker isn’t comfortable discussing them, and don’t flirt or make romantic comments (even if you’re joking). If you feel you are getting a bit too close or the lines between the personal and the professional are blurring too much, try to take a step back from the relationship. Consider using this time to work on building friendships with some of your other coworkers.
Be careful not to exclude others. If you have a super close relationship with your work spouse, you may end up isolating yourselves from other coworkers. If this happens, your coworkers may feel excluded or assume that you aren’t interested in being friends with them. If you notice that you’re giving most of your attention to your work spouse, make an extra effort to connect with your other coworkers, as well. For example, if you and your work spouse usually go out to lunch together, consider inviting a few more coworkers to join in. This will show your colleagues that you and your work spouse are not a closed unit, and that you’re interested in building positive relationships with the rest of the team, too. Having good connections with all your coworkers, rather than just one, makes for better camaraderie and teamwork in the workplace.
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