Today marks late singer and live performer KK’s first birthday anniversary. Known for chartbusters like Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe (Dil Chahta Hai, 2001), Tadap Tadap (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, 1999) and Bardaasht (Humraaz, 2002), among many others, his sudden and untimely death on 31 May this year sent the whole country into shock.
In an exclusive interview with News18, his children – son Nakul Krishna and daughter Taamara Krishna – open up on the fateful day. The duo, who will be hosting a concert as a tribute to KK today, talk about the family man that he was and his fervent love for life. They also reveal that the family spent long hours planning a trip to Italy a day before he left for Kolkata where he eventually suffered a fatal cardiac arrest. Excerpts from the interview:
Was KK big on birthdays?
Nakul: On his birthday, it would be just the four of us hanging out probably at home or at a hotel. It would primarily revolve around his favourite meals starting from breakfast to dinner. Other than that, he never held a party.
Taamara: And sometimes, our close family friends would join us for dinner. It would be a pretty chill thing!
You’re hosting a concert as a tribute to him today. How did that come about?
Nakul: When dad passed away, I was thinking about how we would get through birthdays. We would spend all our birthdays together. If he had a show planned, he would tell his manager that he wouldn’t work on those days.
Taamara: And if he had to attend a show at all, we would all go with him.
Nakul: We thought that the best way to keep ourselves occupied and be focused and still give him a tribute was through a show. He loved being on stage and performing. The concert is the right thing to do. I can’t think of any other way to spend his first birth anniversary. To be honest, it’s a bitter-sweet feeling.
Taamara: We never really sang with or for dad much while he was there. We’re hoping that he hears us now.
So, is music one of the ways to stay connected with him?
Taamara: Yes, but the first two weeks after dad passed away, mom and I couldn’t listen to his songs because it was too hard for us. We would keep crying. The lyrics of his songs felt like he was talking to us. But Nakul started singing so much that we got used to it. Now when I sing, I feel like I’m communicating with dad.
Nakul: Initially the vibe in our house was sombre as people would and talk about the same things. When I started singing, everyone started feeling good. I began singing as a way to uplift everyone’s mood. I was working on an arrangement of Pal with dad over the last year and a half. Three weeks before he passed away, he heard me singing a bit of it. He was excited! He told me that we would record it after coming back from Kolkata. He used to ask me to sing more but I would tell him that I would do that after learning composition, production and theory on instruments. After dad went, I started singing because I felt that was the only way to connect with him. Slowly, my voice started opening up and my tears gave way into songs.
How much of him did you get to see at home?
Taamara: A lot, actually. He normally would have his gigs on the weekend. During the week, he would go to recording studios. But he would be with us for most of the day. And he was very spontaneous. He would randomly wake us up at four o’clock on a Tuesday morning and take us to Pune.
Nakul: In the last five years, he would frequently ask us to take short trips with him but we would be busy with our own things. Now I think that we should have taken all those chances. We always felt like we’ve a lot of time.
Taamara: Dad used to keep telling me to open one of his gigs or sing a set with him. But I would tell him that his stage is too big for me to sing. Now I feel stupid for thinking like that. I was so shy that I would never sing in front of him!
When was it that you realised that your dad is a music sensation?
Taamara: I remember going to one of dad’s shows as a child. We had to run out before his last song and wait for him in the car. He would quickly finish his last song and come running to the car because if he waited, people would crowd around him.
Nakul: He wasn’t very comfortable meeting many people and getting too many pictures clicked. If we went to a mall and people began recognising him, he wanted to run back home. He was an elusive person. He was always of the mind that, ‘I don’t need to show my face. People should know me through my voice.’ During Covid, he was happy because he could have a mask on. But he missed performing. He would keep telling us that he wanted to sing before a live audience. We felt very bad for him because he couldn’t do what he loved doing in the last couple of years. However, we got a lot of time to bond.
Taamara: Yes, Nakul and I would wake up and then spend the entire day at mom and dad’s room. But early this year, he began performing again and his gigs became really intense. All of his fans were also very excited to see him performing live again. His shows were higher on energy than ever.
Nakul: He exerted himself. He wanted to make up for the time that he had lost.
His fans were taken aback by the news of his sudden and untimely demise. We can only imagine what it must have been for you as a family. How rocky has the process been from anger to acceptance?
Taamara: Our feelings go back and forth. In the beginning, there was a lot of anger and confusion.
Nakul: When the doctor called me up and told that dad is no more, I didn’t know how to react. I couldn’t even cry because I couldn’t process what was happening.
Taamara: Nakul and mom were sitting in shock. I was losing my mind. I was running around, screaming. I didn’t know what was happening. We were in shock for the longest time. Grief hit us much later.
Nakul: There are certain moments when it hits me really hard. I was ordering something on Zomato the other day and I saw ‘lamb burger’ written there. It made me think that dad would ask me if they serve lamb burger in Mumbai. I was like, ‘I finally found it but he won’t be able to have it.’ Small things like this make me emotional.
Taamara: Dad and I loved idlis. Whenever mom would make them, we would sit and eat an unreasonable amount of idlis. The first time when we made it after dad passed away, we couldn’t stop crying. It was so hard to eat his favourite food without him.
Nakul: Dad and I used to go for haircuts together. He would look at me and give me a thumbs up every time. When I went to the salon three weeks after he passed away, it felt weird not getting that reaction. But there’s a sense of acceptance now. I can look at his pictures and think of a happy memory and not feel intense grief. Occasionally, if we aren’t in a good mood or sit idle, his absence hits us.
Taamara: Even a five-second breather between work reminds me of him. But we’re better than before. Nakul, mom and I are pretty strong as a family. Every time one of us feels sad, we speak to the other two about it and it helps.
How do you want to remember your dad?
Nakul: He was a loving, energetic, youthful, humble and genuine person. That’s who he was at home and at work. He cherished the people he was close to. As his career trajectory kept changing, he never seemed like an insecure person. He was content at all stages of his life. He managed to figure out the secret to happiness and so, he was always happy. He loved going for holidays. In fact, the day before he left for Kolkata, we spent the whole day planning a trip to Italy. I love Italian food. He had been telling me since a while that he would take me to Italy. That’s how he was… always excited and ready to seize the day even more than somebody my age. He always went with the flow. When he would be tired, he would watch something. He never complained about anything and he truly loved life.
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