When we date, we become more aware of the qualities we are looking or not looking for in our future partner. We all have a tendency to have a “type,” whether it be due to experience or just an inherent preference. If not their physical features, it might be how they dress, their profession, the food of their choice, or even their musical preferences. That is reasonable given that finding common ground is a fantastic starting point for any new relationship. But what if we are too busy to find a person who fits the mould and that is restricting us from meeting great ones? Well, this is called groundhogging.
It is a typical term used in current online dating situations. It refers to the idea that people keep sticking to a type for dating and expect different results. Grounhoggers look for their type of partner and end up with an unsuccessful relationship every time. This dating trend is toxic and is unfortunately becoming very common.
The term is a reference to Bill Murray’s classic film titled Groundhog Day. It shows a self-centred weatherman who wakes up every morning and relives the exact same day over and over every day.
Here are signs that you might be groundhogging and how you can prevent it-
Every time you date, you keep having the same issue, or complaints regarding them. Think about your ex-partners and the current ones. Do they share similar negative qualities like abusive, controlling, or emotionally detached? This is a clear sign.
Your close ones keep telling you that you are falling for the same type of person. Well, in the early dating phase, it might be hard to figure out the signs, but your friends and family can spot it better and can make you aware of it. Make sure that you listen to them and talk it out. The reality might seem harsh, but it will save you from emotional pain.
You have a mental checklist and as soon as the first few tick off, you think they are the one. You are so focused on believing that finally, this person will treat you better and you will have a good future with him, that you totally miss out on the warning signs.
Maintain a journal. Write down a checklist of everything you want in your future partner and everything you don’t want. Specify your deal breakers. Seek help from your family, friends or therapist to understand what signs you generally miss out on. Write down how your ex-partners made you feel about yourself, the relationship and love in general. Does it scar you? Next time you think you like someone, read these entries and try to not fall for the toxic one.
Keep an open mind while dating. Don’t resort to just sticking to your type. Get to know people. You may come across characteristics in people that you like and it will make you more appreciative.
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