What does poking someone on FB mean?
They’re just saying “hi.” A poke on Facebook, or Meta, can be easily interpreted as a friendly way of saying, “Hello.” Whether you’ve known this friend since you were in diapers or it’s coming from a relatively new acquaintance, sending you a poke on Facebook could be their way of virtually waving at you. It lets you know that they are thinking about you and took time from their busy day to give you a sweet digital nudge. Lucky you! A poke can also be used as a way of checking to see if someone’s profile is still active, especially if you haven’t heard from this friend in a long time. Similarly, poking someone you want to reconnect with reminds them that you exist— and that you’re still cool!
They’re playfully trying to start a conversation. Perhaps the friend in question doesn’t want to be all formal and send you a DM on Messenger, but they still want to grab your attention, so they poke you. They may want to initiate a longer conversation, discuss something specific, ask for a favor, or simply catch up with an old buddy. Essentially, the poke is the ultimate ice breaker. A poke could additionally symbolize an inside joke between friends. After all, inside jokes are the currency of long-term friendships!
They’re flirting with you. This may very well have been the original intention behind the poke feature: to flirt. Poking IRL represents a nostalgic, old-school way of flirting, reminding us of silly high school interactions with our secret crushes. Of course, the term “poke” does have a secondary, more sexual connotation, adding to the flirt factor. If someone pokes you on Facebook, it could mean that they’d like to “poke” you in real life. Ahem.
How to Respond
Poke them back. If you’re interested in continuing the interaction, feel free to poke them back by going to their profile and clicking the finger icon below their name. You can also go to the Pokes dashboard by clicking the “Friends” tab, then “See More,” and then tapping “Pokes.” This will show you all your past pokes, allow you to respond to current pokes, and give you access to Friends who could use some poking. If you want to dismiss their poke, go to the Poke dashboard and tap “Friends who poked you.” Then, when you see the friend whose poke you’re trying to reject, click and hold their name, and hit “Dismiss poke.” Remember: if the initial poker is indeed trying to flirt with you, poking them back will likely confirm your interest, so be sure to proceed with caution.
Start a chat with them on Messenger. If poking back feels dumb or not proactive enough, open up Facebook Messenger and start a chat with them. You can do this by going to your main Feed, clicking Messenger, and then “New Message.” Start typing in your friend’s name, and the rest will populate. Feel free to start a conversation using any of the following lines: “I see your poke and raise you a, ‘Hey, what’s up?’” “Miss me much?” “Why poke me online when you can poke me IRL?” “Thanks for the poke! How have you been?”
Do nothing at all. Sometimes, the best course of action is none at all, and this might be the case if the poke is from someone you don’t really like, don’t really know, or don’t really want to know. These are all valid feelings, and living in a digital age often makes us more accessible than we’d like to be. So, whether you choose to formally dismiss the poke and remove the friend, or close the app and decide that’s enough doomscrolling for the day— we support you. Go off and do nothing, queen. You can also remove the poke in your Poke dashboard, and if you want to prevent future pokes, block them from poking you entirely. To adjust your Poke notifications, go to your Facebook settings and click “Notifications.” Then, go to the Pokes section. You should be able to choose what kind of Poke notifications you’ll receive, or turn them off altogether if you don’t want to be bothered.
How to Poke Someone on Mobile & Desktop
On mobile, open up the Facebook app. Go to the profile of the friend you want to Poke and hit the Poke button below their name. You can also go to the Pokes dashboard to find a friend to Poke by going to the “Friends” section, clicking “See More,” and then tapping on “Pokes.” This feature isn’t available for everyone, but going to the Pokes dashboard will give you access to all the friends who are still open to being Poked.
On desktop, go to Facebook.com/pokes. Going to this page will show you all your friends willing to be poked. If you’re looking for a specific person, use the search bar at the top of the page to type in their name. Tap the Poke button next to their name to send them this nostalgic greeting. Another way to do this is to go to your Facebook feed and type in “Pokes” into the search bar in the top left. Click the link that says “Pokes” and you’ll instantly see all your Poke-worthy friends. Poke away!
Poking Etiquette
Use proper etiquette when considering a Poke. While there are no hard and fast rules to Poking, as the feature itself has become less popular and more fluid, there are a few unspoken guidelines to follow if you don’t want to be considered a Poking menace. For one, you don’t want to poke strangers since this can be viewed as bizarre or creepy behavior. Don’t poke someone over and over again— unless you want to seriously annoy them— and take the hint if they dismiss your poke or don’t poke you back. They might simply not be interested, which is okay. Remember: your intention behind the Poke is not always clear and may be misinterpreted. With this in mind, avoid poking people like your boss, your roommate’s boyfriend, or your former bestie with whom you had a huge falling out.
Final Thoughts
Poking someone on Facebook is a lighthearted way of initiating contact. The Facebook poke is often considered a fossil feature from a bygone era of social media. Times were simpler then, when letting someone know you were interested in them romantically could be as easy as a poke. This was before strangers could meet by doing duets on TikTok, and sliding into DMs on Instagram hadn’t been made possible yet. While an occasional poke from a good friend may be dismissed as a goofy gesture, pokes from acquaintances or strangers are usually a sign of attraction and interest. To poke back or not to poke back? Now, that is the question.
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