Knowing What To Say
Compliment appearance, but make it about more. Guys have a reputation for being shallow. If you think the person you're with has a "hot body", that's great, but it's not necessary to make that the first or the most important thing that you list when your partner asks. Try saying what you immediately noticed and then transition into talking about personality: "What I first noticed about you were your eyes, but what I've come to like about you is your great sense of humor. I like how you make me laugh." When you compliment your partner's appearance, don't talk about body parts, like the size of their "assets." Instead, say, "You look beautiful in that dress." or "You look handsome in that suit." Compliment the style choices they make. Avoid using crude words at all times. No slang for body parts. It's not funny, and it's not complimentary.
Compliment your partner's personality. Your partner wants to know why you like them, not why you're attracted to them. That means you need to go beyond the outside and compliment your partner or crush for what you like on the inside. Here are some good tips: "I like the way you handle tough situations and stay cool." "I like the way you care about animals and are light-hearted." "I like how passionate you are for music." "I like how you're a great sister/sibling and a great daughter/child to your family." "I like how you're always there for people who need help."
Compliment your partner's intelligence. If you're attracted to your partner's brains, then it's always good to compliment them for it. Compliment your partner for their intelligence and abilities. "I like how you care about the environment and your footprint in the world." "I like that you're a good student and you're committed to getting into a good college." "I like that you're well-read and knowledgeable about many different things." "I like that you're involved in politics and that you care about making a difference."
Compliment your partner's skills or talents. What does your partner do that attracts you to them? What do you like about your partner's unique attributes or abilities? It's always good to receive these kinds of specific and unique compliments: "I like how hard you work. I have a lot of respect for that." "This pie you made is killer. I love how talented you are at baking." "I like your sense of humor. It's so easy to hang out, because you're always cracking me up." "I love all your hobbies. You're so talented and use your free time so wisely."
Talk about the way your partner makes you feel. Compliments will always seem more sincere and more worthwhile if they're connected to your feelings and your personal response and relationship. It's always better than a compliment that could be given to anybody. "I like how much I like you. I'm crazy about you." "I like how much you turn me on." "I like how you make me laugh." "I like how we can spend time doing nothing together, and it's still exciting."
Be as specific as possible. Compliments shouldn't sound like you got them off the Internet. If you want your compliments to ring true, you need to make them specific to your partner and use lots of details to make them really mean something. How to compliment your partner? Compliment your partner. Instead of saying, "I like your body," say, "I like the way you walk and the way you move. When we're walking through the park and it gets breezy, I like the way you tuck your hair back and keep walking while you do it." Instead of saying, "I like your personality," say, "I like when I can tell you're getting annoyed with something someone says and you get all fidgety and quiet and shoot me a look. I feel like we're really close when you do that." Instead of saying, "I like your sense of humor," say something funny with your partner to share in that sense of humor. Say something like, "I like the way you eat peanut butter straight out of the jar when you think no one is looking. It really turns me on," or something else that will make them laugh.
Just tell the truth. Most people aren't looking for anything particular when they ask this question, other than the truth. If you like a someone because they make you laugh, tell them. If you like someone because her legs turn you on, tell her. If you like someone, show them the respect that they deserve by telling them what you like about them honestly and specifically. It's not a test that you're expected to pass. It's an honest question and an opportunity to get closer.
Knowing How to Say It
Give compliments without having to be asked. If someone is asking you this question, it might be because you're not forthcoming enough with your compliments, or you're going about your compliments wrong. You shouldn't offer compliments because you're in trouble, or because you're asked. Offer compliments just because. When's the right time for a compliment? Anytime. If conversation quiets down some and you can't think of much to say, a good compliment will always be appreciated. If you only ever compliment someone as an apology, then you need to make a habit to be more emotionally present in your relationship. Think about partner's feelings more often.
Compliment often, but not too often. A couple of compliments a week will be appreciated, but if all you ever talk about is how much your partner means to you and what you like about every little thing, you might start to seem like more of a drip than a boyfriend. A few well-timed compliments will be better than a constant flood. Good rule of thumb? Wait until it seems like your partner might need it, but then offer one more every now and then just because.
Compliment your partner in the moment. The best way to give a compliment is to make it seem as if you just noticed something and it occurred to you and left your mouth before you could even think twice. If your partner does something you like, compliment them. If you suddenly think, "Jeez, I'm really attracted to their eyes today," then compliment them. There's no time like the present.
Send compliments even when you're not around. An unexpected compliment can be a great treat throughout the day. Of course, you can overdo it and start to seem sappy, but a few random compliments can be a great way to show your partner that you care. Text compliments in the middle of the day. Leave little notes with compliments in your partner's locker, or at home on the fridge. If you're on the computer, open up a chat window with a random reminder throughout the day. It'll mean a lot.
Mix it up. If you're always telling your partner that their butt looks great in those jeans, it'll eventually start to mean nothing. Just as you wouldn't want to eat the same sandwich every day for the next year, you don't want to have the exact same conversation fifty times a month, especially with your partner. Spice it up! Compliment something totally different and make yourself appreciate something else every time you're together. It'll help your relationship grow stronger.
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