How to Avoid a Flame War

Arodlith

Editor

posted on 16 years ago — updated on 1 second ago

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One of the minor annoyances of life on the internet is that as you spend more and more time in cyberspace, eventually you are likely to run into someone who wants to have a nice big flaming war of words against you. Here is how to sidestep the fighting, and keep on keeping on, with contributing to the forum, the website, or the wiki which you love so much.

Steps

Respond politely to all comments. In most instances, this is all that is needed, but if you are dealing with a flamer, things will begin to escalate. The would-be flamer is likely to seize on the issue, and refuse to let go of the matter. If they want to argue about the finer points, or wants to enlarge the scope of a disagreement, proceed carefully.Avoid a Flame War Step 1.jpg

Make sure that you are correct in your perception of the situation. Don't be afraid to seek guidance from trusted members of your internet community before responding. Know all you can about the situation. And know that you are right before defending yourself.

Respond calmly. You might want to throw some insults back at the other person, but this is what he/she wants by inciting an argument. In most forums, engaging in drawn out flame wars can result in both of you being banned for breaking the rules. Stick to the facts.

Use logic to arrive at your position. Make a case for what you're saying, and don't use any fallacies if possible. Flamers want you to lose control. Don't give in!

State your case thoroughly and succinctly. Be sure to include the most pertinent facts. Phrase your answer plainly and dispassionately. Your flamer is probably very emotional about this issue and perhaps about life in general. Alternatively, you might be the target of a troll who wants you to give him/her a reaction. Don't do it. Avoid sarcasm, and don't be rude. Your goal is to cool down the situation, not to incite further hard feelings.

Send your message to the flamer and be done with it. In other words, take swift action and leave the thread quickly, no matter what is said next.

Be careful about any responses you may get. Do not feel the need to explain your motives, the full background of position and your right to be a part of the community, and your entire life history. A flamer will demand all of that from you and more. Don't get sucked in. If he writes to you to seek more information, just refer him back to your original note and say that is all you have to say on the matter. What a flamer wants is not resolution of the issue, but rather, a fight. Don't entertain this kind of conversation. Don't play that game. It's not worth it.