How to Compliment Your Girlfriend

Knowing How to Compliment Your Girlfriend

Keep your compliments succinct. When complimenting your girlfriend, “keeping it short and sweet” is a good policy to follow. For example, say, “You did a great job on your presentation,” and be done with it. You don’t want to distract her with additional commentary that will make her forget the compliment. Remember that a small but insightful compliment is to the point and memorable.

Give sincere compliments. Be sincere and try not exaggerate when you compliment your girlfriend. For example, do not say, “You are the most beautiful girl in the world.” Your girlfriend knows she is not the most beautiful girl in the world. By overdoing it, you seem dishonest. If you want your girlfriend to believe your compliments, then you need to believe them, as well.

Be as specific as possible. Generic compliments like “You’re smart" or "You're beautiful" are fine sometimes, but if you really want to make your girlfriend feel good about herself, try to compliment her on something specific and unique. It will show that you pay attention to her and care about who she is and what she does. Instead, tailor your comments and say something more specific like, “The outfit you chose for the wedding really reflects your great taste. Have you considered going into fashion?” You can also compliment your girlfriend’s efforts, regardless of the outcome. For example, if she studied really hard for a big test, compliment her on this hard work, even if she didn’t get the grade she wanted.

Use compliments sparingly. Your compliments will lose their impact if you inundate her with compliments. In other words, if you compliment her too much, she will become desensitized to your compliments, and maybe even wonder if you really mean them. It can also seem desperate. Try to limit your compliments to one or two per interaction. Every time you see her, you don’t need to give her a new compliment. Maybe even a week will go by without you complimenting her. Remember that less is more. You may also want to try alternating the types of compliments you give. For example, don’t always compliment her appearance. This may allow you to compliment her more with it seeming authentic.

Have the right intentions. When complimenting your girlfriend, always remember to have good intentions. In other words, do not compliment her in return for a favor. Ask yourself, “Are you complimenting her because you want to share genuine praise, or because you are trying to get a response out of her?” If it is the former, then go ahead with the compliment, if it is the latter, then re-think the situation.

Executing the Compliment

Give the compliment. Compliment your girlfriend on her personality, something admirable she said or did, or how she looks (like her attributes or outfit). Say something like, “You’re very trustworthy. I admire that,” "You look great in that outfit. Is it new?" or "It was really nice of you to help Carrie with her homework." You can give a compliment in person, but you can also give it via phone or text message. You do not have to save the compliments up for when you see her. By calling or texting to compliment her, you will let her know that you're thinking about her even when she's not with you.

Tell her why. Then, tell her why she deserved the compliment. For example, if you compliment her on her trustworthiness, say, “I see that your friends and family confide in you a lot. That tells me that you know how to keep people’s personal matters private, and that you respect their privacy.” You will seem more sincere if you can qualify the compliment.

Ask a question. To complete the compliment, you can ask a question, like “What made you such an honest person?” Or, you can challenge her by telling her something cute like, “Can you keep my secret? I really like you.” You can also share something about yourself, like, “Growing up, my friends weren’t very trustworthy. It’s refreshing to have someone that you can trust.” You will seem very sincere while making your girlfriend feel great.

Deciding What to Say

Compliment her appearance. Complimenting your girlfriend’s appearance once in a while is a great way to make her feel good about herself. But, remember to be sincere. For example, don’t say you like her new haircut, if you actually don’t like it. Tell your girlfriend that you think she is beautiful. Be specific when you tell your girlfriend that she is beautiful. For example, "I love your dark brown eyes" or "Every time I see you smile, it brightens my day."

Admire emotional bravery. You can compliment your girlfriend by admiring her emotional bravery. For example, “I know last week was a really rough week for you. But you were able to focus and put all the negativity aside, and put together a great presentation. Everyone loved it.”

Tell her she did a good job. You can compliment your girlfriend by congratulating her on a job well done. These type of compliments will build her self-confidence. For example, “Good job on winning the talent show. I know the competition was fierce!” Or, "I knew you were going to ace your test. I know you studied really hard for it. You deserve that A."

Ask her how she did something. You can compliment your girlfriend indirectly by asking her how she did something. This way, you can admire her skills and expertise. You can say, for example, “Can you tell me how you studied for the midterm?” Or, “How did you create your own blog?” If your girlfriend is creative, admire her creativity. You can praise her creative touches by saying, “You did a great job on that poster board for the presentation,” or “The painting you gave Emily for her birthday was stunning.”

Tell her she’s smart. Compliment your girlfriend on her intelligence, but don’t just say, “You’re smart.” This seems generic. Remember to be more specific when you compliment her. For example, “You really deserved that reward for your paper. It was a thought-provoking and insightful paper.”

Know what not to say. It’s helpful to know which compliments can be misinterpreted or taken the wrong way. Try to stay clear of these comments. The last thing you want is miscommunication between you and your girlfriend, when all you wanted to do was to make her feel good. For example, if your girlfriend struggles with her body image, then you might think that you're helping by frequently complimenting her appearance. However, this may lead to her fixating on it. Some other examples of bad compliments are: “You clean up nicely.” She can misinterpret this as, “You don’t usually look good.” “You’d be prettier if you smiled more.” This can be misinterpreted as, “You are not pretty.” Any compliment that ends with, “for a girl.” For example, “You’re smart for a girl,” or “You’re funny for a girl.” These types of compliments are very demeaning to all women and girls.

Avoid sexually-charged compliments. Sexually-charged compliments are ones that have sexual overtones, or are ones telling her what you would like her to do. For example, "I heard you were great at kissing. Can I have a kiss after school behind the gym?" Also, avoid commenting on body parts that are explicitly sexual, like her breasts, buttocks, lips, or tongue. For example, don't tell your girlfriend, "You have a nice butt," "I like the size of your boobs," or "You're hot." You can make your girlfriend very uncomfortable by complimenting her in this way. Instead, focus on other attributes, like her hair, skin, eyes, the shape of her nose, or something unique, like her freckles. For example, "I love your freckles. They are cute."