- Focus on your present feelings and circumstances instead of the past or future to gain clarity and look at your confused thoughts objectively.
- Physically address confusing thoughts through activities like aerobic exercise, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation.
- Visit a mental health or medical professional if your confusion interferes with your day-to-day life or comes on suddenly and severely.
Focus on the present.
Take a breath and ask yourself how you’re feeling right now. Turn your focus to the present and let go of what you can’t control. You can’t change the past or predict the future, so save your brain power and time and stop ruminating on them. This doesn’t mean you have to completely forget about the past or future. Consider them when you make decisions, but save your energy for the present.
Accept your current situation and feelings.
Tell yourself that you’re confused and it’s OK. Ignoring or running from your confusion makes you feel better temporarily, but it won’t solve anything long-term. Let yourself feel confused or agitated—it’ll lead you toward the source of your feelings and to possible solutions. The more you try to not think about something, the more your brain will fixate on it. Let your feelings and thoughts flow uninterrupted.
Take a deep breath.
Use deep breathing to trigger your body’s relaxation response. Slow, guided breathing improves your mood and focus and reduces anxiety. When you feel confused or paralyzed by indecision, try one of these breathing exercises: The 4-7-8 Technique: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for 7 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat. Resonant Breathing: Sit upright and repeat inhaling for 5 seconds and then exhaling for 5 seconds. Do this for several minutes daily. Box Breathing: Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds, then hold for 4 seconds.
Focus on what’s true and likely.
Consider positive outcomes based on facts instead of worst-case scenarios. If you’re convinced that something bad is real or bound to happen, you’ll fixate on it even if it has no grounding in facts. Look at what’s objectively true about your situation, then imagine likely best-case scenarios. For example: Imagine your best friend is distant and constantly on their phone. It’s more likely they’re talking to a crush than ignoring you because they’re upset. Say your spouse is moody and constantly sending emails. Instead of assuming they’re cheating, recognize it’s more likely they’re working hard on a project. Most of the time, the worst-case scenario your mind comes up with is not the most likely one.
Contemplate your thoughts objectively.
Treat your thoughts as if they’re opinions, not facts. Even when your thoughts feel true, framing them as opinions helps you step back and look at them in new ways. When you put distance between yourself as an individual and your thoughts, it’s a lot easier to be objective about them. For example: Frame “I’m going to make a mistake if I text my ex” like an opinion (“I feel like it’s a mistake to text them”). Then ask objective questions—why would it be a mistake? What’s likely to happen? Questioning your thoughts objectively helps point out flawed or self-limiting thought patterns and helps you approach your feelings like a third party.
Challenge your conscious and subconscious assumptions.
Assumptions can trap you in an unproductive thought cycle. Assumptions like “Everything will fall apart if I don’t figure this out now” or “People will think I’m weak if I need help” actually prevent you from taking action. These limiting beliefs are probably not totally true—debunk these thoughts to broaden your perspective. Try journaling or talking with a friend to put your thoughts out there and pinpoint places where you’re making assumptions. When you’re free of assumptions, you’ll feel less overwhelmed and have a clearer mind to solve problems with.
Weigh the pros and cons of your options.
If you’re struggling with a decision, examine the benefits of each choice. This will guide you towards making a thoughtful decision you’re less likely to regret. What options do you have? How would each option help or hurt? How would your life be different after making that choice? Write your pro-con list down so you can clearly see your train of thought and look at it with a fresh perspective. Try using if-then statements. For example, “If I move to New York City, then I will have the opportunity to pursue my dream job.”
Recognize unproductive "thinking traps".
Unhelpful thinking styles keep you confused and distressed. Recognize when you’re following an unwarranted train of thought and call it out to yourself. Stop trusting faulty logic and reevaluate your circumstances to ground yourself in reality. Some common traps include: Worst-case scenarios: You exaggerate a negative outcome of a situation and think that you’ll be unable to cope. Harsh self-criticizing: You judge yourself by rules you think you should be following and label yourself negative things like undeserving or useless. Black-and-white thinking: You think in extreme all-or-nothing terms where outcomes are perfect or terrible with no possible middle ground.
Give yourself time to relax.
Take “mental vacations” to help parse through confusing thoughts. When you live in a constant state of “go, go, go,” you build up stress that damages your clear thinking ability. Take 20 minutes out of your day to close your eyes, breath, and let your mind and body relax. Sit or lay in a comfy position and tell yourself “I’m going on vacation!” to get in the right headspace. Let yourself feel and experience whatever emotions come up during your break without trying to push anything away. It might help to reflect on past experiences that were relaxing or that bring you peace and joy.
Distract yourself temporarily.
Do a stimulating activity to calm your mind and prevent a spiral. Try distracting yourself with whatever interests you—watch TV, listen to music, go for a walk outside, or pick up a good book. The goal is to take a break from thoughts and activities that make you feel anxious and confused so your brain and body can recuperate from stress. Remember, this is a short-term solution. If you’re frequently feeling confused or conflicted, there’s a deeper underlying cause that needs to be addressed.
Write or say positive affirmations.
Self-affirmation helps with managing stress and problem solving. Write or speak out loud “I” statements about your values, self-worth, and gratitude. As you build up your self-image, you’ll gain clarity on your thoughts and feel more empowered to take action to improve your feelings. Use affirmations like these: “I feel confused right now and I’ll take things one day at a time.” “I can always find something to be grateful for.” “I’m not alone. I have people who can help me through this.”
Get some exercise.
Do physical activity regularly to boost your concentration and memory. Whether your confusion is emotional or neurological, regular exercise will improve your mood, sharpen your overall brain function, and help you relax. Choose aerobic activities like jogging or swimming to get the biggest boost. Aerobic exercise releases endorphins, adrenaline, cortisol, and other chemicals and hormones that elevate your mood and make you feel better physically.
Journal about your thoughts.
Write down your thoughts and feelings to understand them more clearly. Seeing your emotions on paper can help you study them more objectively and find your way forward. Set aside a few minutes every day to journal and let your words flow freely—structure and grammar aren’t important here. Keep a pen and paper handy at all times to make journaling throughout the day easier. Only share your journal entries if you want to. They’re your private thoughts and you can do what you like with them.
Try progressive muscle relaxation.
Tense and relax your muscle groups one at a time to relax. Find a comfortable sitting or lying position and turn your senses towards your body. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself, then tense and release your muscles, working from your forehead down to your toes. Tense each muscle group for about 5 seconds before releasing. Focus on deep breathing between tenses. Feel your body relax deeper and deeper each time you relax a muscle group. Imagine your stress, anxiety, and confusion melting away.
Learn a new skill.
Try something you want to learn for enjoyment and distraction. This is a great way to get moving and do something instead of sitting and ruminating. Work on a skill that you consider helpful or that you find relaxing. By doing something new, you’re training your brain to look at things with new perspectives or solutions. Try: A new household skill like baking or feng shui. Something athletic like training for a 10K or recreational sports. An artistic hobby or personal interest like learning a musical instrument or gardening.
Talk about your thoughts with others.
Share with someone you trust, like a close friend or relative. Discuss what you’re thinking and feeling, and ask for help coming up with solutions. It might feel uncomfortable, but those who know you and your situation well can provide insight you may have overlooked. Talking out loud helps you analyze your own thought patterns and relieves some of the stress you feel inside. Clarify what you want from your listener—do you just want to talk at someone? Do you want them to actively chime in with suggestions and observations?
Meet with a mental health professional.
Non-stop racing thoughts or confusion can be a sign of mental unwellness. If you feel totally out of control of your thoughts and words and self-care is not helping, schedule an appointment with a therapist or counselor. They’ll help evaluate whether you’re going through a rough patch or have a more serious underlying problem. An uncontrollable burst of racing or confusing thoughts is called a “flight of ideas.” It’s sometimes seen in people with anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or drug addictions. Try a therapist-finding site like BetterHelp to help find and choose a therapist.
Consult a doctor or medical professional.
Visit a doctor if you suspect your confusion has a medical cause. Infections, concussions, sleep deprivation, old age, and strokes are all conditions that may cause medical confusion. Seek help immediately if your confusion comes on suddenly or is accompanied by any of the following: Cold, clammy skin or uncontrollable shivering. Dizziness or feeling faint. A fast pulse, fever, or headache. Slow or rapid breathing. Inability to remember your name or other personal information.
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