Staying Cool When People Bother You
Don’t react. Often people will bother you to get a reaction. Try to avoid blowing up or expressing your discontent non-verbally. Don’t roll your eyes, make mean faces, or mutter things under your breath or else you might feed the fire. Remember that silence does not make you weak Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing to calm yourself. Think about the big picture. Getting into a physical confrontation could cost you your health, your job, or your education. Remember what really matters and try to put these small annoyances in perspective. You always have the choice to be yourself and behave consistently with your values and character. Your behavior is only controlled by others if you allow that to happen. If you are the type of person who is loving, honest, kind, and authentic, demonstrate to yourself that that this is the real you by being that person even around difficult people and strangers.
Change the subject. If you can feel a conflict coming, bringing up something different can be a good way to distract someone. Often annoying people will be defiant despite being obviously wrong because they see the confrontation as a battle of egos. Once you’ve defused the situation, they might no longer feel the need to assert themselves. If, for example, someone is invading your space, try directing them to something in your surroundings that is funny or interesting. If someone is pestering you with an annoying topic of conversation, try to bring up something else that you know will interest them.
Stay rested and happy. Your ability to tolerate annoying people is proportional to how emotionally and mentally stable you are. Rest up and try to have a good time. If you find yourself getting annoyed by others too frequently, consider if there is anything that you could fix in your own life to cultivate a sunnier disposition.
Remember that sometimes you might be the jerk. It can be hard for us to recognize our own faults. If someone keeps on complaining about your behavior or asking for something you don’t think they deserve, it is worth considering that perhaps you’re being the unreasonable one. Listen to friends and family when they critique your behavior to get a sense for your own faults.
Getting People to Leave You Alone
Announce a timeline for when to leave. It’ll be a lot easier to get out of a conversation if, at the beginning, you make it clear that you can’t be around for long. Tell them that you have an appointment or a call that you need to make. Tell them specifically that you have five or ten minutes left, so that they won’t be surprised when you bolt. Reader Poll: We asked 114 wikiHow readers who've needed to get out of certain events or situations, and 58% of them agreed that announcing a specific end time is helpful for people to know what to expect. [Take Poll]
Start motioning that you need to leave. Most people will get the clue if you begin to pack up your bags and start looking off in the distance. Conveying that you need to leave with body language saves you an awkward conversation and convinces the other person that they have decided to stop talking to you.
Politely make up an excuse. If you’ve told someone that you have a timetable to leave, you’ve begun to pack, and they still haven’t responded, you might just need to tell them directly that you need to go. Try to be polite and pretend that you are sorry.
Get someone else’s help. Come up with a signal that you can send to a friend so that they will come over and pull you out of the conversation. Otherwise, just start talking to someone else in your vicinity. The other person should catch on that they’re no longer part of the conversation and eventually leave.
Scream. If someone refuses to leave you alone, move to a crowded place and scream. Yell “leave me alone.” The fear that other people will intervene to protect you will cause even the most persistent people to give up. This is an extreme solution. You should generally refrain from following this course unless you believe the person might endanger your safety.
Fixing a Relationship
Point out their annoying habits. Don't be afraid to tell them how you feel. Instead of accusing them of doing something wrong, use "I-statements" to explain how their behavior effects you. To do this say "I feel ______ when you do _______ because ______." There are several advantages to I statements. Instead of placing the blame on them, you make it about how you feel. Furthermore, instead of exaggerating by making a blanket statement like "you are always angry," you can specify exactly when their bad behavior pops up. That will make it easier for them to correct their behavior. We are always behaving in ways to get our basic needs met—annoying people are simply choosing indirect ways to get recognized. With that principle in mind, you might say, "The way you are acting is getting my attention, but not in a good way. It would be helpful for me if you just told me what you wanted."
Ask why they act the way they do. If they are needy, anxious, or overly talkative, it might because they have their own personal issues. Ask them if anything is up. Talking about it might help them get over it. If not, see if there is anything you can do to help them get over their issues. For many people, behaving negatively to get their needs met is the only way they know how to behave. Try helping them see how much their behavior impacts others, and suggest better alternatives for how they can act.
See if they are willing to change. After you have raised the person’s faults, you should give them time to respond. See if they are willing to adapt their behavior and try to avoid these habits that might lead to the things that annoy you. Don’t push the subject too persistently or they will probably fight back. You’ve already told them what you think; give it some time to sink in. Remember patience is important. If they don't seem to respond, try to make your message clearer by pointing out when they acts in a way that bothers you. Do it in a non-confrontational way, like "Don't you think that question is a bit personal?" Evidence shows that people who have close personal relationships are happier than those who don't, but maintaining those will generally be hard and require sacrifice. Don't give before giving the other person a chance to get better.
Tell them you need to take a break. If they persist in their behavior and you don’t think you have the patience to tolerate them, sit them down and be honest. Just tell them that the friendship isn't working for you and you need to take some time apart. Say that it hurts you to say this, but that it’s better than leading the person on. This will give them more time to allow your comments to sink and try to develop. This might help salvage your relationship by saving you from an angry explosion that would only make things worse. Remember that you may be doing them a favor. If everyone around you thought you were annoying, wouldn't you like to know how to change that? Be polite and stick to "I-statements." "I am going through a hard time right now, and it bothers me when you ask personal questions, because it reminds me of what has happened. Could I get some space for the next couple of weeks?"
Ending the Relationship
Suggest some new friends for the person. Maybe you know some other people who share the same interests as the person, or maybe you know some people who have a higher tolerance for annoying people than you do. Try to introduce them to people around your school or workplace that will distract them. Avoid introducing them to mutual friends, because that might make you more obligated to spend time with them.
Cut them off. If you are not particularly close to the person, it is acceptable to just end communication. Unfriend them on social networks, ignore or block their phone calls and emails, and try to avoid situations where you might encounter them. Most relationships have a trial stage, during which it should be expected that you might break it off if things go sour. This is not a valid strategy if you have been friends for years or if you live or work in close enough proximity that you can be expected to encounter one another again
Tell them you no longer want to be friends. When ending a relationship with a close friend, you should do so directly and in person. To soften the blow, start off by telling them what you liked about them and your relationship with them. Be honest about why you no longer want to be friends, but do so in a way that is neutral and not offensive. Instead of accusing them of doing something wrong, tell them in an impersonal way what you need in a friend: “My life is stressful right now, and I need to be surrounded by people are relaxing and empathetic.”
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