Dating coach Connell Barrett says to wait for a “romantically tense” pause when “[he’s]…making deep eye contact with you and [his] body language is leaning in and matching yours.” Hold hands or look at his lips to raise the tension, then lean in for the kiss and gently press your lips to his.
Creating the Right Moment
Linger at the end of a date. At the end of your evening, linger with your boyfriend before you say goodbye for the night. Try to draw out natural pauses in your speech. Even if you’re nervous, try not to fill every moment with words. This allows a natural moment of anticipation to build.
Minimize the physical distance between you. Get physically close to your boyfriend. You can touch his arm, sweep his hair out of his eyes, or whisper something softly in his ear. This closeness will signal that you’re hoping for a more intimate moment. If you’re walking your boyfriend to his door, for example, don’t trail far behind. Walk with him. If there are steps, you can even level a height difference between you by stopping a stair above or below where he does.
Say something kind and sincere. Say something sweet and heartfelt to make your boyfriend feel close to you. You’ll be physically close, and your words will create emotional closeness to match. For example, making eye contact, you could say, “You made me feel really special today.”
Be quiet and look at his lips briefly. Draw out the moment after your compliment. Shoot a brief glance at his lips, not longer than two seconds, and then make eye contact with him. Keep your mouth gently parted, ready to kiss. If he looks at your lips too, that is a great sign. He may even make the first move.
Lean in for the kiss, gently pressing your lips against his. Your boyfriend may take the lead with the kiss, or he may turn away. If he does shy away, don’t force him to kiss. Respect him and understand that he may not be ready. If you’re feeling unsure about whether your boyfriend wants to kiss, lean in for the kiss slowly. This gives him time to stop the kiss if he doesn’t want to.
Using Touch and Body Language
Mirror his body language. Notice your boyfriend’s body language. Then, subtly use your body to mirror his posture, arm position, or leg crossing. Mirroring body language like this can help you bond with him. Your boyfriend may feel closer to you without even realizing it. Mirroring body language also builds empathy between you.
Hold his hand. Reach for your boyfriend’s hand and try to hold it. If he flinches or pulls away, let it go. If he grasps your hand back, intertwine your fingers with his. Holding hands creates intimacy between the two of you.
Attempt a cheek kiss. Sometime when your boyfriend is sitting next to you, pull him into you and kiss his cheek. Then, smile at him. He may decide to kiss you right then himself. A cheek kiss lets you gauge your boyfriend’s interest in more romantic kissing.
Snuggle into his shoulder. When you’re feeling affectionate during a day out, nuzzle your boyfriend’s arm. If you’re at a movie together, you could even lean on him and cuddle into his shoulder. Snuggling releases feel-good hormones that will help your boyfriend feel close to you.
Getting Closer
Text or call when you’re apart. Use your phone and messaging apps to let your boyfriend know you’re thinking of him. You can call him if you’re going to be apart for a few days to stay in touch. Using pet names for each other can help you feel closer, too. Ask him how is day his going or just let him know you miss him. You can also talk about fun things you want to do together when you see each other next.
Practice listening when you’re hanging out. Show your boyfriend you care for him by being genuinely curious when he speaks. Ask follow up questions and try not to judge him. Your interest in him will make him feel loved. You might say, “I love that song you put on. How did you get into that band?” Reinforce that he’s the center of attention with your body language. You can tilt your head towards him, nod, and maintain eye contact as he answers.
Perform small romantic gestures. Do something thoughtful for your boyfriend every few days to let him know you care about him. Whatever it is, make it about him and his interests. You could put love notes in his locker, sing him a song, or buy him his favorite snack.
Flirt when you see each other. Make jokes or play around when you see your boyfriend. You can jokingly steal his hat, give him a wink, or blow a kiss. Whatever makes the two of you smile together will help build your bond. Try not to make jokes at your boyfriend’s expense, which could make him feel embarrassed.
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