Managing your Fears
Assess your situation. Is there a legitimate reason that you feel like you may be fired? Look for evidence at the office that may suggest your job is in peril. If you can’t find any, then it’s likely that your fears are all in your head and you have nothing to worry about. Some signs that your employer might be preparing to let you go include: Your workload subsides. There’s new management that wants to take the company in a new direction. Your manager is suddenly avoiding you. You’re no longer asked to attend important meetings. Your boss is hyper-critical of your work. EXPERT TIP Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Relationship Counselor Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008. Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Relationship Counselor Our Expert Agrees: Start by asking yourself important questions like, is this a real fear? Have I been put on probation? It's good to have a trusted friend you can talk to and go through an inventory of what's real and not real. If there is a legitimate sign that you might be fired, figure out how to step up your game.
Put fear in its place. If you can’t find any concrete proof that your job is at risk, try to find the source of your fears. Your fears may be the result of past personal experiences. Identifying the cause of irrational fear can be the first step in mitigating it. Were you blindsided when you were let go from a former employer without notice? Did you watch a friend or family member go through a painful time after losing a job? Do you see being fired as a poor evaluation of your self-worth?
Talk to your peers. If you feel like your fear of being fired is reasonable, see how your co-workers feel about their own job security. You may be surprised to find out that many of them have the same worries you do. Some employers do use the fear of being fired in a misguided attempt to keep their employees in line. If you feel like your company is manipulating you, you may want to start searching for a new place to work. Don’t complain to your co-workers. It could get back to your boss.
Talk to your supervisor. Politely ask your boss for a private meeting to discuss your concerns. Let your boss know that you care about your position and want to perform your duties to the best of your ability. Your boss will likely be impressed by your initiative and may be able to put your mind at ease. Offer to take on extra projects that could lighten your boss’ work load. Realize the treatment from your boss is rarely personal. Your boss is likely focused on the big picture of your company growth rather than your performance. Bring in a list of your accomplishments at work. EXPERT TIP Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Relationship Counselor Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008. Adam Dorsay, PsyD Adam Dorsay, PsyD Relationship Counselor Talk to your boss if you have a safe relationship with them. A performance review is the best time to discuss how you're doing and how you can do better. Ask your boss what your areas for growth are and what they see you doing well.
Preparing for the Worst
Update your resume. Add any new skills and experience you’ve gained at your current job. Having a resume that is current will give you confidence that you can move forward quickly if you do happen to lose your job. Knowing that you’re prepared will take some of the fear of the unknown away from being fired. Send out your resume discreetly. You don’t want you current employers to know that you’re searching for another job.
Look through your contract. If your job has a severance package, see how much your job will pay you in the event that you are terminated. Knowing that you have a little money coming your way while you look for another job will give you a little breathing room. Severance packages can be worth as much as six months pay.
Look for unemployment benefits. Unemployment pay can help you get through the transition period while you’re looking for another job. See if you meet the requirements to collect unemployment in your state. Usually, you have to be unemployed by no fault of your own. If you quit your job or are fired for gross negligence, you will not qualify. In most states, you have to have worked at least half the year before to collect unemployment.You will also not qualify if you have been disciplined for very serious misconduct (such as stealing from your workplace).
Get references. Before you leave your job, make sure to get plenty of references that will help you secure a new job. You’ll need people to vouch for your work ethic. It’s also a good idea to keep up a relationship with your references by contacting them every once in awhile by email or a phone call. You want to make sure your references remember you so they’ll be more likely to give a glowing appraisal of your work to future employers.
Make yourself available. Put yourself in a position to be recruited by head hunters from other companies. Contact the human resource departments of other companies in your field to see what positions they need filled. Let them know that you’re searching for a new job. Don’t let your current employer know that you’re seeking out other jobs.
Seeing Being Fired as an Opportunity
Spend time getting to know yourself. Clear your mind of the stress leftover from your job. If you do get fired, you’ll have plenty of time to focus on what makes you happy. You’ll get to learn new things about yourself and reassess your career goals. You may find that you want to do something entirely different than the position you were let go from. Focus on your health. Make an exercise routine. Adopt a healthy diet. Get plenty of sleep. Have new experiences. You can enjoy inexpensive adventures like going hiking. Learn new skills you never had time for while you were working.
Spend some time with your loved ones. Enjoy some quality time with your family. Being overly focused on work can make you forget the things in life that are really important. If you get fired, you’ll have a lot of extra time to connect with your kids, your spouse, your parents and whoever else is an important part of your life.
Look up stories of people who succeeded after being fired. Many of the most successful people in our country have been fired. Sometimes, being fired from a position that doesn’t fit you can lead to you finding your true calling. J.K. Rowling was fired from her day job as a secretary and was even homeless for a short period of time before writing the “Harry Potter” books. Michael Bloomberg was fired from an investment bank and used his severance package to start his financial data company. Bloomberg L.P. is now one of the most successful companies on the planet.
Get your confidence back. Having constant fear that you’ll be fired can be very detrimental to your self-esteem. When you’re out of that job, you’ll get a chance to remember how great of a person you really are. The only thing that changes when you get fired is your employment status. You’ll find that you’re still the same intelligent, capable person you were before you worked there and eventually another company will agree.
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