How to Respond to a Dry Text from a Guy

Pinpoint the reason behind his dry texting.

He might be busy, he might not like texting, or he might not be into you. Dry texting is incredibly frustrating, but try to be patient for the first couple of short texts or long response times. If he starts the conversation up again or starts sending more detailed messages, he was probably just busy. However, if you notice a pattern of dry texts, ask yourself these questions: How often does he initiate the conversation? If you’re the one consistently sending the first message, he may not be interested in you. That’s his loss! How does he communicate in real life? Is he a chatty guy or more reserved? He might be a shy guy or an introvert who doesn’t feel like engaging in small talk. Try out a few of the conversation starters below to see if you can pique his interest. Has he ever sent longer texts? He might be having a bad day if his texts have gone dry. Think back to the last time you interacted, too, and ask yourself if you did anything to upset him. If not, give him some space and see if he starts texting again. When do his texts usually go dry? For instance, do his texts get shorter when you bring up a certain subject? He might prefer talking at a certain time of day or about certain subjects. Shake up the conversation, and see if you can get him to text back with better responses.

Restart the conversation by bringing up his interests.

He might dry text you if he’s not feeling the conversation topic. Send the ball back into his court by getting him talking about his interests. Use an open-ended question, and keep it pretty broad, especially if you don’t know him well. It’s even better if you can find a common interest and start a conversation from there! “If you had 48 hours to do whatever you wanted, what would you do?” “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t?”

Use a playful question to fix a texting rut.

He might just not be in the mood to talk about school, work, or his day. A fun question can add a little spark and turn your conversation into a game. You could see if he’s up for a real game like truth or dare, or “would you rather?” If not, just send one of these easy, fun questions: “If you could have 3 wishes right now, what would they be?” “Would you rather travel to the future or to the past?” “What’s something you love that everyone hates?”

Mention a fun memory to remind him of your connection.

Start a text with something like “Remember that time when we…?” If you’ve met in person or have been on a few dates, use that common experience or an inside joke to reignite the spark. When you go without seeing each other for a bit, it’s normal for a text conversation to dry up because you’re not actively creating new memories together. While you wait for your next date, keep him reminded about the good times you had IRL. Here are some texts for inspiration: “Just passed that diner we like and thought of you! Remember when we ordered that massive milkshake?” “I was just thinking about the way that woman stared at us when we burst out laughing in the movie theater the other night. What was the line that made you totally lose it?”

Send a photo to give you more to talk about.

Take a pic of something exciting or interesting from your day. A photo can shake up the rhythm of your conversation, especially if his replies are getting boring. Just steer clear of sending private photos unless you know you’re both comfortable with that. Check out these example ideas of photos to send: Snap a beautiful photo in nature. Take a photo of a tasty-looking meal. Do something silly and take a picture.

Gauge his interest with a little flirting.

If he responds positively, you don’t have anything to worry about. Plus, once the positive vibes are flowing, he’ll be more likely to respond with longer, more interesting texts. You could send a flirty emoji and tell him you’re looking forward to seeing him, or send a compliment text. If he’s interested in you, he’ll probably flirt back or at least respond with something fun. Check out these examples: “You looked really cute last night.” “You’ve got the best sense of humor. I’m still thinking about that joke you made at Madison’s party.” “Hey, handsome! What are you up to?”

Check in with his feelings about texting.

Your guy might prefer to text a bit less, or he might not like texting at all. It’s worth checking in with his comfort levels and preferences. Some guys send dry texts because they aren’t fans of texting, so keep in mind a dry text doesn’t immediately mean that your guy doesn’t like you. Try replying to a dry text with something like this: “Thoughts on texting vs. talking in person?” “Hey, how do you feel about texting?” “What’s your fav way to reach people? Are you more of a texting or calling kind of guy?”

See if he’s down to call or video chat.

Use this question to see if he’s actually interested in you. Dry texting is an annoying and confusing way guys signal they’re not into you–especially if your guy says no to other forms of communicating. If he says no to calling or video chatting, move on! Send one of these to figure out whether it’s time to leave the conversation: “I’m feeling old school tonight. Want to call?” “I miss seeing your handsome face. Want to video chat?” “Texting can get boring. Wanna call instead?”

Ask if he wants to hang out IRL.

Figure out if he likes you by being direct. Let him know that you’re interested in him. If he says yes, you’ll know he’s serious about meeting up. If he says no, you can move onto better texting convos. After all, texting someone you like should be fun! “Hey, I like you. Would you want to go out sometime?” “I like talking to you. Wanna to grab lunch after class on Thursday?” “Do you want to hang out sometime?”

Prevent dry texting by sending more specific questions.

Try “What was the highlight of your day?” as an alternative to “How’s it going?” Steer clear of “yes”/“no” questions that let him respond with a one-word answer. By getting specific and changing up a pretty standard question, you’ll get a better answer from him. Plus, by asking about the highlight from his day, you get a sense of what matters to him and what his passions are. From there, you can build deeper conversations. People pick up their phones an average of 58 times a day. If he doesn’t respond after several hours, he’s likely seen your text but isn’t interested.

Coach a bad texter by telling him what kinds of texts you like.

Use this approach for a guy you’re already dating. He might not realize that his dry texts bother you! If you’re just getting to know each other, you’re both figuring out what makes the other person happy. Give him compliments when he responds with longer texts, and tell him what you’d prefer when it comes to his texting style. See if you can find a way to communicate that makes you both comfortable. “I always smile when I get a notification from you.” “I like getting texts from you! It’s always fun to talk.” “I really appreciate it when you text me to check in before you go to sleep.”

Don’t respond at all if he keeps dry texting.

In a good texting conversation, both people put in equal effort. One-word texts or dry responses don’t show a ton of interest—and that lack of effort can even be rude if he sends dry texts all the time. You don’t have to reply when a guy sends you dry texts or doesn’t look like he’s doing his part to keep the conversation flowing.