What Are the Three A's of Active Listening?

What are the 3 A's of active listening?

Attitude. The first A has to do with keeping a positive mindset as you listen. Try your best to approach conversations with a good attitude, and do your best to limit negative thoughts before you've fully heard what someone has to say. Coming into a situation with a negative attitude can give you a bias that prevents you from hearing the other person, or it might distract you from listening at all. Maybe you don't have a ton in common with a coworker that's giving a presentation. Spin that into a positive and think something like, "Marie has a much different skill set than me, so I can probably learn a lot from her presentation today." This can be tough if you're distracted by something else that's put you in a bad mood or you're frustrated with the speaker. If you can, reschedule the meeting or conversation so you can decompress and return with a new perspective.

Attention. The second A relates to communicating that you're listening to another person. Showing the other person that you're listening through verbal and physical cues encourages them to keep speaking and helps you focus on what the person is saying. Cues that can help you with this step include making eye contact with the speaker, nodding as they speak, giving them an encouraging smile, and mirroring their body language. If you're in the audience of a lecture, communicate your attention by making eye contact with the presenter, nodding along, and writing down some key points in your notebook. If a colleague is speaking to you, try mimicking their body language. For example, if your coworker uses hand gestures as they speak, try doing the same. This can help the speaker feel more comfortable continuing to speak and can help you establish a rapport. Asking good follow-up questions is another great way to show that you're actively listening to the other person.

Adjustment. The final A has to do with keeping an open mind as you hear the speaker. Going into a meeting or even a conversation with a friend, you might already have an opinion about what they have to say. To hear them out, try your best to adapt your perspective according to what they're actually saying and be open to changing your mind. This can help you avoid tuning out their words because of something you think about them versus what they're saying. Perhaps you don't often agree with a colleague's marketing strategy. In the next marketing meeting, try to put your usual feelings aside and give your coworker a chance. You might be surprised to find you do agree with some of their ideas. It's totally okay to disagree with the speaker. Just try to hear them fully before formulating your response or tuning them out. This can help you formulate a respectful, well-rounded response, even if you disagree.

What is active listening?

It's a strategy you can use to better hear (and understand) what people are saying. Instead of listening passively, active listening encourages you to absorb information using specific techniques like eye contact, encouraging body language, and follow-up questions. These strategies help you comprehend and retain information in professional and interpersonal settings, like meetings and conversations with your friends. Passive listening is when you hear a person's words without reflecting on what they've said or responding to them. Active listening involves reflecting upon someone's words and responding with questions or feedback. Summarizing what someone said in your own words and minimizing distractions (i.e. turning off your phone and talking in a quiet space) are other ways you can practice active listening.

Putting the 3 A’s into Practice

Wait until someone is done speaking before you respond. To give your full attention to someone as they speak, avoid thinking about your response or interrupting them as they speak. They might have an important thought they haven't gotten to just yet, and you might misunderstand what they mean if you don't let them finish. Perhaps you want to impress your boss with a good response in a meeting. Rather than formulating your response as they speak, hear them out and take a moment to consider your reply after they're done speaking. Sometimes this happens even when you're excited about the subject. If your friend mentions a band you like, for example, you might be tempted to interrupt them with your thoughts on their music. To be a respectful listener, wait until they're done.

Ask questions. If you're not quite sure what someone said, asking a follow-up question can clarify their point and strengthen your understanding. You might also opt to ask a question as a way to show the speaker that you're considering their words in a meaningful way. "You mentioned that this job involves customer service. Could you tell me more about that?" "A vacation sounds fun! Are you planning on taking any trips during your time off?"

Reflect on what's been said. After someone is done speaking, you might want to say the first thing that comes to mind. To enhance your response, give their words a few seconds of consideration before you reply. This will help you absorb the information they shared with you, and you may find that your response is a little (or a lot) different than it would have been if you hadn't taken a moment for reflection. If a colleague explains a new concept to you, take a few seconds to consider their words. You might come across a question you have about a specific detail, or you might realize just how brilliant their new idea is and want to praise them for it.

Summarize their words out loud or in your head. Repeating what they said helps you make sure you have an accurate understanding. Try to do so in your own words to increase your comprehension of what they said. "Just to clarify, we'll be changing how we handle client relations going forward?" "I think I understand. It sounds like you're interested in trying new things to get a fresh perspective on life." If you're unable to come up with a summary, that might mean you could benefit from asking a follow-up question or going over what they said one more time.

Barriers to Active Listening

Internal distractions can prevent you from hearing what someone is saying. These might include hunger, feeling sick or tired, and being worried about something else. Everyone gets distracted by these things sometimes, but try to organize your day or reschedule important conversations to keep them to a minimum. If you get hungry and distracted during staff meetings, for example, try taking your lunch right beforehand or eating a snack. Do your best to get a full 7-8 hours of sleep at night to help you focus as well. You might be concerned about something going on in your personal life. Try your best to focus on the present moment. Being mindful of your surroundings and the sensations you're feeling in the moment can help you with this.

External noise may make listening a struggle. Things like side conversations from your colleagues, a lawnmower going off outside, or interruptions from others can make hearing what people have to say a lot more difficult. If you can, try to organize important meetings or conversations with friends or coworkers in spaces where there is a limited amount of external noise. If you need to have an important conversation with a friend, for example, sit them down in a quiet coffee shop or a secluded location at a park. You might put your cell phone on silent before an important conversation so you aren't distracted by any notifications. Sometimes, you don't have much control over this. If your colleagues are talking loudly or construction work outside is distracting you, do your best to focus on the conversation at hand with other active listening strategies. If possible, you might also ask if you can move to a quieter place. Eliminating distractions is an important part of active listening, but other cues like eye contact and asking questions may make more of an impact. Reader Poll: We asked 224 wikiHow readers and only 8% of them agreed that the best way to show someone you’re actively listening is by avoiding distractions. [Take Poll]

Boredom or lack of interest can make listening a lot harder. It's normal to struggle to listen if you don't enjoy the subject, but there are ways around this. Try your best to come up with one aspect of the conversation or lecture that appeals to you to make listening a little easier. You might be surprised to find that aspects of the subject actually interest you, and if nothing else, you'll likely absorb more of the information. Maybe your boss is giving a presentation on the company budget, but you're not interested in finance. Focus on how a well-organized budget will contribute to your department's growth and success to gain a deeper understanding.

You might have a hard time listening if you don't understand what's being said. Language barriers, disabilities, and learning disorders can all understandably affect your ability to listen to what someone has to say. If you're currently dealing with these circumstances at work, you might try talking to your workplace's human resources department to see if they offer any helpful accommodations. Talk to your doctor if you've recently been diagnosed with a learning disorder or disability, or think you may have one. They can give you the tools you need to help you focus at work and in conversations with friends and family. Disabilities and learning disorders that might affect listening include speech disorders, ADHD, and dyslexia. These are all very common, and a doctor can help you get a diagnosis and come up with a treatment plan. If you're dealing with a language barrier in the workplace, you might try working with an interpreter or a translator if these services are offered. To see if any accommodations are offered, get in contact with your company's human resources department.