Recognizing the Problem
Notice if your child's behavior seems off. If your gut instinct is telling you that something isn't right with your child, don't dismiss it. You know your child better than anyone else, and if they seem to be acting out of character – even if you can't put your finger on why – take it seriously. Don't be afraid to ask them how they're feeling as well. Open-ended questions can get them to open up. For example, if your child normally has good sleep habits, you should be alarmed if they seem to suddenly only need one or two hours (or less) per night. This could be a sign of a mood disorder. Ask other members of your household, such as your other children or spouse, if they have noticed strange behavior as well. They may be able to confirm your gut suspicion. Other people who have close daily interactions with your child, such as their coaches or teachers, may also be worth consulting.
Don't ignore hostile, aggressive, or violent behavior. If your child regularly threatens to hurt themselves or others, acts defiantly with authority figures, or gets into fights, seek help for them. Any kind of out-of-control behavior is a red flag for a mental health disorder. Let's say your typically reserved child gets sent to the principal's office for mouthing off at the teacher. This may point to a significant behavioral change influenced by a mental disorder or other traumatic event.
Take depressive symptoms seriously. If your child has been acting depressed for more than two weeks, it's probably not just hormones. Have your child's mental health evaluated if they've been acting sad or tearful, no longer participate in their favorite activities, or express feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Irritability and angry outbursts can also be signs of depression. If your child talks about suicide or wanting to die, talk to them about your concerns right away, and get them mental health treatment sooner rather than later.
Talk to your partner or family. As you review your child's symptoms, you may find it helpful to discuss the matter with your co-parent or another family member who knows your child well. This person can give you their perspective and help you make decisions. You might say, "I'm worried about Ellie. Have you noticed any changes in her? Will you go to a doctor's appointment with me to discuss her options?"
Take your child to a psychologist for an evaluation. If you think your child needs professional help, start by making an appointment with a psychologist. They will be able to evaluate your child's mental health and provide guidance on what kind of treatment program you should look for. Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a reputable psychologist in your area. It may help to jot down some notes about any changes you've noticed to help the doctor better understand your child's condition. If your child needs medication based on a psychological assessment, your child's psychologist can connect you with a psychiatrist.
Exploring Inpatient Treatment
Ask your child's doctor or psychiatrist about options for treatment. If you're overwhelmed at the idea of finding a good treatment program on your own, ask for help. A medical professional will be able to give you an overview of the treatment options available in your area. They'll also be able to advise you on which programs will meet your child's needs best. You might say, "This is all a lot to take in. Can you help me understand some other options for Henry? What would be your course of action if this were your child?"
Contact several treatment programs. Once you and your child's doctor have created a preliminary list of treatment programs that make sense given the diagnosis, call them and ask questions. Find out what type of treatment the program provides, how long a typical stay lasts, and how much the program costs. It's also a good idea to find out what kind of aftercare each program provides. Inpatient settings often stabilize your child's current condition and prevent further decline. Aftercare is critical to addressing underlying problems and moving forward. Make a list of your questions before you call each treatment center. Then compare your information on all the programs to decide which one fits your child's needs best. It's also a good idea to contact your insurance company and find out whether they will cover your child's mental health treatment.
Take your child to the emergency room in an emergency. If you think your child is a threat to themselves or to other people, take them straight to the emergency room or call 911. Your child may be admitted to the hospital right away, or they may be referred to another location for treatment. Be aware that it may take a long time – in some cases up to 24 hours – for your child to be evaluated in the emergency room.
Admitting Your Child to Treatment
Explain the admission to your child. Once you make the decision to admit, you will need to sit down with your child and discuss what's happening. Depending on your child's age and maturity level, they may already understand the circumstances. Still, it's best to be sure they understand and see if they have questions. You might say, "Josie, you're going to go and stay at the hospital for a few days. I know you have been really sad and we want to help you get better. I'm going to visit you as often as I can, okay? Do you have any questions?" If your child has a doctor he or she trusts, it may be helpful to have the doctor reassure them that this is for their benefit.
Make sure you understand the practical aspects of the program. When you admit your child to treatment, ask about the details of the treatment plan, how payments are managed, and whether you are legally required to sign your child in and out of the program. You may also want to ask about your child's daily schedule and how much you're expected to participate in therapy. Older teens may legally be able to sign themselves into and out of the hospital. Check the laws where you live to find out if this is the case. It's also a good idea to find out when visiting hours are and whether you will be able to talk to your child on the phone. Ask whether visits are only for parents, or whether siblings can visit, too.
Find out how the program handles schoolwork. Some psychiatric inpatient programs for kids and teens have teachers on staff, while others will allow you to bring your child their school assignments. Talk to the program ahead of time to make sure your child won't fall behind on schoolwork during their stay. It's also a good idea to find out if your child's school has any established protocol for students returning from hospitalization.
Pack a bag for your child. Check the program's guidelines before you pack for your child's stay. You will probably be asked to bring things like insurance information, clothes, toiletries, and a favorite book or stuffed animal. Most psychiatric treatment programs prohibit certain items. Avoid packing valuables, belts, any item with a cord or drawstring, or anything sharp.
Discuss your child's care with their treatment team. Talk with the therapist and psychiatrist who will work with your child. Tell them about your child's main symptoms, any treatment they have had in the past, and which strategies have helped them before. Remember that you are part of your child's treatment team, too. You know your child best, so don't hesitate to speak up if you think something isn't working. It's important to be proactive in your child's recovery. If a medication is of concern to you, make sure your voice is heard. You might say, "I'm concerned about the side effects of some of these medications. Are there any other drugs you can prescribe?"
Take care of yourself. Having a child in psychiatric treatment is stressful, so take care of your own well-being when you can. Keep your stress in check by breathing deeply or meditating for a few minutes every day. Maintain your overall health by eating well, getting some exercise, and avoiding drugs and alcohol. Remind yourself that you'll be able to help your child more effectively if you're in a healthy state of mind. If you're struggling, consider talking to a counselor or therapist.
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