How to Be Different from Other Girls

Developing Your Personality

Practice introspection. To stand out, you have to know yourself and know yourself well. Engage in a little bit of introspection from time to time, whether that means keeping a journal each night or having a meditation practice every morning. Having a rich inner life will set you apart from other girls because you won’t rely on outward validation. This is a powerful ability to have. To practice introspection, start by asking yourself how you feel each morning and night. From there, you can analyze the things you like and why you like them.

Experiment as much as you can. Practice exposing yourself to new things. Try new foods, new hairstyles, and new classes. Trying new things will give you confidence, will garner a large set of skills, and will set you apart from others. Experiment safely. Do not engage in illegal or dangerous activities for the sake of learning new things. If you are nervous, start out with something small, like using online tutorials to learn to knit. Experimenting can mean cooking meals you’ve never had before, reading a book you normally wouldn’t read, or even joining a community theatre production.

Get out of your comfort zone. If you are extremely shy, try going to a party where you don’t know anyone and practice talking to strangers. If you are naturally outgoing, try your hand at observing and people-watching. Get out of your comfort zone to demonstrate that you can go with the flow--a trait that is certain to show you stand out from the crowd of other girls. Again, if you’re nervous, start out small. Speak to someone you’ve never spoken to before, or try a type of foreign cuisine you’re unfamiliar with.

Don’t worry about looking weird. A lot of girls are terrified of looking stupid or weird, so they hold back or avoid trying new things. Don’t! If you look weird trying something new, or sound weird when talking to someone new, so what? The worst that can happen is you won’t have a new hobby or friend. And even if you don’t, you’ll stand out from the crowd. If you’re worried about what other people think, remember that they probably don’t notice as much as you think they do.

Showing Your Confidence

Own your opinion. If you have an opinion about something, don’t sink back and keep it to yourself. Speak up! State your opinion, and contribute to the conversation. A woman who can hold her own stands out above the rest. When giving your opinion, it helps to be well-informed. If you aren’t familiar with the topic being discussed, try to listen instead of speaking. When a topic you know comes up, offer your opinions.

Assert your needs. A lot of girls feel like they are not allowed to assert their needs--not in a relationship, not in their family, not in the workplace, and not in the classroom. Do you want to be different from most girls? Assert yourself! Some people might not like you asserting yourself, but not being afraid to demand respect and consideration is nothing to be ashamed of. Assertion doesn’t have to be mean. To assert yourself, you can ask your teacher a question if you don’t understand an assignment, tell your friends you are too tired to go out, or let your significant other know that they hurt your feelings.

Accept compliments. Most girls will deny a compliment, shake their head, or at least make a face to suggest displeasure. Don’t do that. Instead, smile, and say a simple, “Thank you.” Not all compliments are created equal. Objectifying you and complimenting you are two very different things. If a compliment makes you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to shut it down.

Use proper posture. Rounded shoulders and downcast eyes suggest you are uncomfortable in your skin. Instead, stand up straight, look straight ahead, and keep your chin parallel to the ground. Work on your posture at all times. If you slouch when you’re alone, you will slouch when you are out, too.

Make eye contact. Whether you are listening or speaking, be sure you make eye contact. If you cannot hold eye contact indefinitely (and this can make people feel as though you are staring them down, anyway), try to hold it for 20 seconds at a time with a 10-second break in between during conversations with others. Eye contact demonstrates confidence quietly, rather than loud or brash statements. If you feel too awkward practicing eye contact with others, you can practice meeting your own eyes in a mirror or practice with your family members.

Respect yourself. Ultimately, the only way to get respect from others is to have respect for yourself. Respect your time, your energy, and your limitations. You can show yourself respect by treating yourself with care and consideration, such as making time for rest, feeding your body healthy foods, and listening to your intuition. If you do not have time for a commitment, say so. Be honest about what you need from a relationship or position. Respecting yourself means being up front about your needs.

Being Unapologetically You

Acknowledge your likes and dislikes. Although some tastes are in vogue and others are not, do not hide your own likes and dislikes. It might not be cool, but if you have a passionate affection for 90s boy bands, own it! If you don’t like the resurgence of bluegrass, don’t listen to it. It’s that simple. Acknowledge your likes and dislikes, but don’t put anyone else’s down. To acknowledge your likes and dislikes, you might say, “Could we put on a country station? Country music is my favorite.” or “I love Greek food--let’s do Greek food for lunch.”

Speak your mind. A lot of girls feel too intimidated or nervous to join in a spirited debate, or to disagree with someone in a group conversation. To stand out and set yourself apart, speak your mind and inspire other girls to do the same. Although you should always treat other people with respect, you do not have to keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself. Speak your mind in a civil, kind tone. Standing out from other girls can also be achieved by dominating male-oriented conversation. When speaking your mind, be strong but not overbearing. If you are talking about politics, for instance, you can say something like, “I’ve been following the New York Times’ coverage of (political movement), and I agree with…”

Wear the clothes you feel good in. Magazines have countless articles dictating what women should and should not wear based on a variety of ever-changing variables. Scrap Cosmo and wear whatever makes you feel good. If you have an apple shape and love drop-waist dresses, forget what anyone else says, and rock that drop waist. If you feel best copying the looks in magazines, own it! Wear and do what makes you feel good. Selena Gomez Selena Gomez, Founder, Rare Beauty Be authentic to your own look and style. "It’s hard to feel comfortable when you feel like everyone is watching, judging, and commenting on the way you look. Self-confidence is still something I work on daily, but when I stopped trying to conform to society’s unrealistic standards of beauty, my perspective entirely shifted."

Work on loving yourself. Just as respect comes from self-respect, gaining the love of others requires you to first love yourself. Practice loving yourself outright--your flaws, your quirks, your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Most women struggle with self-loathing at worst, or a hefty list of insecurities at best, so loving yourself with truly set you apart. A simple way to practice loving yourself is to speak kind words to yourself in the mirror each morning. Something as simple as, “You look beautiful today” can boost your confidence. Loving yourself can mean exercising in a way you find fulfilling, or wearing clothes that make you feel your best, even if they aren’t in keeping with the latest trend.