Getting Her Attention
Project confidence to catch her eye. Anytime you’re around the object of your interest, carry yourself in a way that reflects how you wish to be seen. Stand up straight, move with purpose, and speak in a calm, relaxed (yet assertive) tone of voice. A self-assured demeanor will send the message that you’ve got something going for you. Confidence isn’t the same thing as cockiness. For many people, arrogance is even more off-putting than a lack of self-esteem. Another positive side effect of confidence is that it makes you more resilient. If it turns out that she’s just not into you, a confident attitude will allow you to rebound and move on without feeling bad about yourself.
Take steps to make yourself more attractive. Like it or not, physical appearance counts for a lot, especially when you don’t know someone very well. Start working out regularly and watching what you eat, and make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Spending a little extra time putting yourself together before going out could also improve your chances of catching her eye. It’s crucial to keep up with your basic personal hygiene, as well—shower daily, brush your teeth, style your hair, and don’t forget to wear deodorant, particularly if you’ve been hitting the gym. Your smile is one of the best weapons you have in your social toolbox. Don’t be afraid to use it.
Sharpen your conversational skills. Being a good conversationalist is just as much about being a good listener as it is about having lots of funny or interesting things to say. Keep the discussion centered around her as much as possible to make her feel special. When it’s your turn to talk, say what you have to say, then look for a way to put the spotlight back on her. Don’t feel like you have to agree with everything she says. In fact, disagreeing tactfully can be a good way to show her that you have a mind of her own and elevate the conversation to the next level. Forget rehearsing imaginary conversations with the girl you’re trying to impress. A better approach is to stay relaxed and allow yourself to be spontaneous. That way, you’ll be ready for whatever twists and turns your dialogue might take.Warning: Avoid rambling, oversharing, or making the conversation all about you. Playing things close to the chest can lend you an air of mystery and intrigue, making her want to find out more about you.
Surround yourself with friends whenever you're around her. Arrange things so that every time you happen to run into your crush, you're with your squad. Always having an entourage with you sends a subliminal message that says “I’m likable.” It’s even better if you know a few of the same people, as this will tell her right away that you have similar interests and a compatible personality. If you have mutual friends, start asking them to do things with you more often. This will give you a convenient in to strike up a conversation or invite her to tag along. Scientific studies also suggest that keeping a few friends by your side can actually make you appear more physically attractive by “averaging out” your features.
Socialize with her friends to put yourself in her orbit. Start hanging out with some of her closest companions and make them a part of your own social circle. Be charming, amiable, and, above all, genuine. The more highly they think of you, the more likely they are to talk you up to her, or even recommend you as a potential love interest. Befriending her besties won’t just give you an excuse to be in her company more often, it will also divide your attention, forcing her to work harder for it. A girl’s friend group is like a battalion of soldiers protecting their queen. In order to get to her, you first have to win over them—or, in this case, win them over.
Focus on making a lasting impression when you’re together. Whenever you find yourself with a moment alone, take advantage of the opportunity to dazzle her with your natural magnetism. Make her laugh, listen attentively, and treat her like she’s the only person in the world—at least until it’s time to make a strategic exit. You’re practically guaranteed to have her thinking about you the rest of the night. Really connecting during your one-on-one time is key to ensuring that your efforts to downplay your interest pay off the way they’re supposed to. There’s no reason for her to pursue you if she doesn’t actually enjoy being around you. While coming across as desperate or needy can drive girls away, acting completely disinterested may discourage her, producing the opposite effect of the one you’d hoped for.
Leaving Her Wanting More
Keep your cool and avoid making the first move. When it comes to getting a girl to chase you, rule number one is don’t come on too strong. Throwing yourself at her is a great way to put her off and convince her that you’re probably not worthy of her time and attention. Whatever you do, don’t make it obvious that you’re actually the one chasing her by playing hard to get. Fight the temptation to always text her first or be the one to offer to hang out. It’s better to bide your time and wait for her to come to you.
Be the first one to walk away from an interaction. Many people make the mistake of becoming too clingy or eager to be in a girl’s presence once they’ve got her hooked. Don’t be afraid to cut a magical conversation short when you see someone you know, or duck out a little early because you’ve got other places to be. Doing so will make her look forward to your next meeting while also advertising that you’re in high demand. Remember: if you want her to chase you, you can’t be around all the time.Tip: Make it a point to intentionally miss her calls or take longer than usual to respond to her texts every now and then. This is sure to drive her crazy (in a good way).
Stay busy with your own goals and hobbies. Devote time to your own pursuits, even if it means occasionally turning down an offer to hang out. On the surface, this will help you portray yourself as passionate and goal-driven, both of which are attractive qualities. Secretly, though, you’ll be encouraging her to try harder. Bring up your hobbies, interests, and projects frequently in conversation so she’ll know how serious you are about them. You could even go so far as to say things like, “My ideal girlfriend would love gaming as much as I do,” or, “It would take someone really special to get my mind off of cars.” She may take it as a challenge.
Make her think she's in the friend zone. While talking to her, say things like, “I’m thankful to have such a great friend,” or, “You’re just like one of the guys.” If she’s into you, dropping hints that you see her as a casual friend rather than a serious romantic prospect may make her work even harder to win your affection. You don’t have to keep her in the friend zone forever, but putting her there temporarily is a good way to fan the flames of her desire and motivate her to get out. If you’re going to take this approach, reel in the flirtiness a little. Sending mixed signals could just confuse her or make her suspect that you’re playing games.
Try ignoring girls who won’t give you the time of day. Sometimes when you’re dealing with a hard case, the best thing you can do is employ a little reverse psychology. Refusing to acknowledge her the way everyone else does will cause her to doubt her assumptions about you and lead her to wonder what’s so great about you that you’ll hardly give her a second look. Ignoring is more subtle than just pretending like she doesn’t exist. It could mean laughing halfheartedly at her jokes, acting unimpressed when she tells stories intended to make her look cool, or simply engaging with everyone around her more than her. Giving the cold shoulder to a girl you secretly like can easily backfire. Try to do it in a way that feels unintentional, not deliberate or mean-spirited.
Be careful not to give up your advantage too soon. Don’t stop what you’re doing just when it’s starting to work. If she suddenly seems determined to get you to notice her, be receptive to it, but don’t take the bait all at once. Instead, play it cool and give her just enough to keep her coming back without sacrificing the upper hand. Once you’re certain that she’s after you, you can begin gradually increasing the amount of fondness you show towards her until the two of you’re on a level playing field. Going from lukewarm to hot too quickly could cause her to lose interest in the dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to establish. In the worst case, it may even lead her to believe that your behavior has just been an act.
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