While we casually term our friends ‘Narcissist’ when they’re being overconfident or cocky, true narcissism is a far deeper, darker issue as per British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP) counsellor Margaret Ward-Martin. According to the NIH, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a “complex psychological condition that presents with a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy.” Margaret, who runs a project for survivors of narcissistic abuse, says that being in a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely harmful, and it is ideal to spot the signs and get out ‘as soon as you can’.
In an interview with MetroUk, she says, “Narcissists erode a person so that they no longer recognise themselves; victims may become depressed and mentally and physically ill, often resorting to drugs, alcohol, disordered eating and similar, to cope.” Margaret shares that there are certain common red flags in a narcissistic person that should be taken note of in a relationship.
Red Flags To Identify A Narcissist
1. A person who has a history of failed relationships where they are always the victim could be a matter of concern. While such people might have some sense of accountability, one can always find a habit of passing the blame onto someone else.
2. Narcissists often appear to not care much about other people and cling to those who fulfill their selfish needs, including attention. They could be pretty manipulative to cultivate loyalty among supporters.
3. Another key trait of narcissism is the excessive need for admiration and validation. If the person is overly concerned about receiving praise and gets agitated upon not receiving it, this could be a sign of narcissism.
4. Always having a sense of self-importance is another red flag of narcissism. If your partner believes in exaggerating their achievements, talents, or importance and fails to ever appreciate you, you might need to rethink it.
5. Narcissists are always at the forefront of controlling others. Using tricks like flattery, plausible narratives, social isolation, and diminishing, they try to send others on a guilt trip.
6. Narcissists tend to be very obsessed with images and are not very real. They behave differently every time, depending on the importance of their audience. One should check for their behaviour once no one is watching.
7. Making fun of others and intentionally belittling people as inferior is a big red flag. They always try to compare themselves to others in an attempt to show superiority.
8. Due to their overconfident personalities, narcissists often have weak self-esteem and are very sensitive to criticism. Upon being criticised, they become defensive, or get offended.
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